


Detox

by twerkinlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Chaptered, Complete, Detox, Drug Use, M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 19:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twerkinlarry/pseuds/twerkinlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Authors note: this is just a quick beginning, like a prologue, but I'm calling it chapter one. I'm not too sure how well this is going to go, but I'm going to try my hardest.

“Fuck off!” echoed through the large flat, along with the sound of shattered glass. Harry had thrown the bottle that had been in his hands only minutes before at the wall with quite a bit of force. Louis winced, ducking away from the throw, but feeling the pain of it all anyways. He knew Harry wasn’t really the one telling him to fuck off, throwing bottles at him, trying to hurt him. Louis knew it was the monster, it was the same substance that had been tearing them apart for months now. This ravaging beast, lashing out at Louis wasn’t Harry Styles, it was the cocaine swimming within his veins.

It had been exactly 3 months to the day, when Harry first became addicted. Louis knew right away that he was addicted, he knew from the very first use. Although he didn’t remember exactly how Harry got his hands on it, he remembered being with him in the back of the club, as he snorted his very first line. Harry had complained that it hurt his nose, and claimed it was something he’d never do again. However soon after his high kicked in, Harry claimed he felt the best he had ever felt in his life. He tried to get Louis to try it, but Louis was wary, and never ending up trying it, something he was truly grateful for now.

Harry fell hard for the white demon, Louis was almost sure Harry went out the very next night in search for another dose. Louis should’ve stopped him that night, if not the first night, then the second. That’s why when Harry lashed out, delirious from the drug, Louis couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Harry, only mad at himself. However it was getting much too out of control now, and Louis knew he’d have to do what should’ve been done long ago, now. After just 3 months Harry was a full fledge addict, and it was clear to the public eye. Everything had gotten so out of hand, so quickly.

It was yesterday though, that Louis was told so. Louis was sitting in his bedroom, enjoying the peace and quiet from Harrys crash, when his phone rang. When he answered, it was management, yelling about how some tabloid has pictures of Harry doing the cocaine, and that they’re releasing the story, and that it was Louis job to fix it. Why was it Louis job? He felt like he was being throw into a lions cage and being told to tame it, or else. It’s not Louis fault, so why should he have to fix this? Then Louis remembered it was his fault. It’s all his fault.

Louis was quickly snapped back into the present with a forceful slap. Harry was glaring at him. The first time Harry hit Louis, he locked himself in his room for hours, crying. Harry begged him to come out, but he only did so when he heard the loud snores coming from the other side of the door. Now the blow barely had any effect on him. He just looked back at Harry, with sad, guilty eyes.

“How dare you Louis! You know you can’t do this to me! I’m an adult! I make my own decisions, and you can’t stop me from them!” Harry yelled out at Louis. Louis opened his mouth to try and further explain his statement, but he found himself grow angry, because Harry just didn’t seem to get it.

“You don’t make your own decisions though! You stopped making your own decisions the moment you first snorted that shit. The first time you let it poison your body. And then the second time, I should’ve stopped you then, and I’m so sorry Harry. I’m so, so sorry” Louis pleaded, his anger fading halfway through his rant, because he remembered Harry is only like this because of him. He couldn’t blame Harry for being mad at him, after telling him what the plan was.

It was simple. They were to be locked in their flat for 4 weeks, that’s all they had, and Harry had to detox. If he didn’t, he’d be “removed from the band”, was what management had said. He thought it might have gone over a little better, at least not the shattered glass everywhere, but then again Harry had always been rather dramatic. Once again his face was met by Harry’s hand.

“Don’t say you’re sorry, just fuck off! I’m not going through with it, have them kick me out of One Direction whatever!” He scowled at the thought. Louis knew it wasn’t Harry that was talking right now, rather the addiction, so he pressed on.

“Harry, you need to go to sleep. Tomorrow you’re starting your detox and that’s final. There aren’t any more buts, or excuses you can use. The boys won’t lose you from the band, and I won’t lose you from this stupid shit. You’re going to die from this Harry, this isn’t a game. You have to stop.” Louis was trying not to cry, he had stopped crying quite a while ago, but things hadn’t ever escalated this much, so he was a little over-whelmed. Harry walked over to Louis, slammed him against the wall, arm across his neck, choking out all of his air, and leaned in closely to Louis face.

“I hate you, fuck off” and with that he let Louis collapse to the ground, and stormed off to his room. To Louis surprise, it went a lot better than he thought. He figured Harry would storm out of the house, never to be seen again. Louis thought it best, upon the realization that this could happen during the night, to sleep in Harry’s room.

After Louis had gotten himself ready, physically and emotionally, he walked into Harry’s room, slowly and quietly as possible. He was surprised to find that Harry had actually gone to sleep. Louis panicked for a moment, and checked Harry pulse, to make sure he was in fact still alive. He climbed into bed next to Harry, something he hadn’t done in a long time. Sure him and Harry had had sex amongst all of this, but they always ended up in separate beds once it was all finished. Louis missed cuddling with Harry, but to be honest, there wasn’t much of Harry left here. Louis sighed, knowing what tomorrow would bring. At least all of the boys were coming over for support. Louis shut his eyes, and drifted into a fitful night of sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: another quick chapter, just trying to get into things, It'll pick up once we get into the actual plot. Hope you like it!

When he woke up, he was relieved to see Harry still next to him, having seemed to not have moved at all during the night. Louis once again checked his pulse and breathing, to make sure he was still alive and not dead from an over-dose. He wasn’t sure how much Harry had been using lately, but he knew it was a lot more than he was when he first started. Louis glanced over at the clock, it was only 8am, meaning Louis got 3 hours of sleep. Never the less he rolled out of bed, and stumbled into the kitchen, preparing a cup of coffee for himself, and for Harry, who he would soon wake up. He shuddered at the thought of waking Harry up. He didn’t know what type of mood he’d be in. Sometimes after a fight Harry would be extremely sweet and apologetic and kind, other times he’d still be grumpy and upset. Louis hoped it was the first. Louis heard a soft buzzing sound and realized he’d left his phone on the counter all night. He grabbed it to check who it was. It was Liam, saying him and the boys would be over for 9. That meant Louis needed Harry up and presentable, and not lethal, by 9. That also meant that he would have to have his plan all figured out and read by 9.

Every site that Louis read said that quitting cold turkey rarely works. It was for this reason that the detox had to be done now. The boys had 4 weeks off before they had to do public events. All they had was 4 weeks, and Harry had to be clean, or else One Direction would have to move on with only 4 members. Something none of the boys wanted. Louis sipped his coffee while replying to Liam, thanking him again for helping him with this. Just as Louis was relaxing into his warm mug, he heard a noise.

“Morning boo” Said Harry sleepily, going up behind Louis and pulling him into a cuddly embrace. Louis tensed, not willing to trust Harry so easily at the time. Harry sensed that Louis was holding back, and turned him around. “What’s wrong Lou?” he asked. His mood had already changed from cuddly to grumpy. Harry got easily annoyed and offended when Louis shut him out. But it was the only way Louis knew how to protect himself.

“Nothing’s wrong Harry.” Louis said sharply. He was far too tired to deal with Harry’s mood swings. All Louis wanted right now was for the other boys to get here. Then everything would be alright. He knew they could do this all together, but there was no way he’d survive much longer on his own.

“Well I know that’s a big fat lie!” Harry yelled. Now Louis knew his blood was still tainted with the foul substance. Louis turned to face Harry, but was met with an open hand. Louis gasped and grabbed his face. He hadn’t expected Harry to hit him, he usually only did when he was highly intoxicated.

“What the fuck Harry?!” Louis cried out. “This! This is why I’m mad!” He said still clinging his face. He moved to show Harry his other collection of bruises. Harry’s eyes widened, but his expression remained the same. Louis stormed towards the fridge to get an ice pack.

“Who did that to you?” Harry said quietly. Louis was floored. He scowled at Harry.

“How could you be so stupid?” Louis accused. “Who did this to me? Who else could’ve done this to me? I don’t hang out with any other druggies!” Louis pressed the ice to his face and hissed at the biting cold.

“I’m sorry” the words were barely audible, but it didn’t matter to Louis, because they didn’t mean anything anyways. They stopped meaning anything a long time ago.

“Go take a shower, you smell like sweat and alcohol.” Was all Louis said back. He waited until Harry had shut the bathroom door, and gotten into the shower before he collapsed onto the floor, sobbing, clutching his swelling cheek. It had been so long since he’d cried, but it felt good to release the built up emotion. Things had escalated immensely in the past few weeks, and Louis was scared. Harry had never hit him when he was sober. Now he was yelling, and hitting all the time.

He sat there for a few minutes, crying and whimpering, until he heard a small knock at the door. He got up and straightened himself out, opening it.

“Hey guys!” Louis said with a broken voice. “Come on in!” All three of them had looks of concern plastered to their faces. They only seem as they took in the looks of Louis, and the apartment. There were still glass shards all over the floor from last night, along with a few spatters of blood here and there. To Louis it didn’t look any different from the usual, but to the other boys, who never really knew what was going on, it was terrifying.

“Louis what happened?” Liam gasped. He could see that Liam was trying to stay calm, but was entirely panicked from his surroundings.

“Oh nothing, just a little bit of a meltdown, everything’s fine though!” Louis assured, eyes burning with tears.

“but look at your face! And your arms! Oh Lou, why didn’t you tell us it was this bad?” Zayn said, as he pulled Louis into a hug. “You should’ve spoken up sooner. You didn’t have to deal with this all on your own.”

“I know, I was just scared. Now I’m even more scared, so I didn’t know what else to do” He said, letting his tears stain Zayn’s shirt. “Things just got out of hand so quickly.” He started to explain when he heard the shower turn off. Harry burst out of the bathroom and faced the 4 boys. Louis made an effort to step away from Zayn, knowing how Harry would react if he was too close.

“What are you guys doing here?” Harry’s voice still had a tone of anger in it. Liam just shook his head and motioned Harry over.

“Harry come on over here, it’s time we talked.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: So this chapter is a bit of filler, the next one will be too. I've got to get in to the 'good part' we'll say. The first few days are really boring but I promise it get's better. I've got Chapters 4 and 5 done too, and I'm working on 6. They won't all be posted today, definitely 2 of them will be though! Anyways thanks for reading guys!

Even though he knew Harry already knew the plan, he was still anxious to sit him down and go over it again, especially after last night’s outburst. No matter, Harry was casually strolling over to the 4 of them sitting in their living room. His face was blank, Louis couldn’t tell what he was thinking like usual. Whenever Harry was high, his face would show every little emotion he felt. Now that he’d calmed down, showered, probably vomited a bit, he seemed to be coming down from the high.

He walked over to them stopping at the archway; he noticed the setup of the living room had changed. Instead of the usual cozy half-moon the love seat, sofa, and chairs were in, it was all of the boys seated on the sofa in a line, and the love seat directly across from in. Harry scowled. Louis could feel himself start to sweat as Harry took a seat and glared at them. He didn’t know how to start this, luckily Liam spoke up.

“Harry you’re out of control. I know Louis has already talked with you about your problem, and the proposed solution, but he’s always given it as an option. This time, we’re sitting you down and telling you what’s going to happen.” Liam paused. Harry’s face was still blank. “Harry you’re destroying yourself. Can’t you see what you’re doing? You’re wrecking your career, your relationships, everything.” Liam’s voice got louder and louder as he continued. “I can’t believe how completely mental you’ve gotten! I don’t know how I missed this, but you beat Louis. Do you realize you abuse your boyfriend, when all he does it take care of you, and help you.” Louis sniffled, Niall put his arm around him and handed him a tissue.

At that moment Louis made the mistake of looking up, and at Harry. His face was no longer blank, but instead contorted in a mix of pain and confusion. He knew when he looked up Harry fully saw the tears streaming down his face, over one of the many bruises Louis had. Harry stood up in that instant and ran out of the room. Louis sobbed; he figured Harry was leaving the flat, going to go do some lines to run away from it all. That’s usually what happened whenever topics like this were brought up. Instead of hearing the front door slam shut though, Louis heard Harry’s bedroom door slam open. Harry returned moments later with a black box. He slammed it down on the coffee table in front of them. The boys just stared a t it blankly, not sure what it was.

“Well go on then!” Harry said. This time it was Zayn that stepped up, grabbing the box and opening it. Inside he found Harry drug stash. There were wads of cash, small baggies with cocaine in them. Some weed, some other pills, different paraphernalia. “That’s it. You can check the house, but that’s it.” Harry said quietly. He slummed back into the chair, bending over rubbing his face in his hands. “So what’s this plan?” came out of his hands, muffled.

“Well first, you give us, well, this. After that we basically lock ourselves in this flat, and have four weeks to get you clean. Obviously you won’t be addiction free, because it takes years for that, but we need to at least get you clean. If you can stay clean for four weeks, we can help you the rest. If this doesn’t work, you know you’ll be kicked out of the band, right? Liam explained. This time it was Harry that let out a small sob.

“Yeah, I know.” Was all he said. Louis wanted desperately to go over there and comfort him, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to do it. He was incredibly scared. He knew if he stayed over here, safely next to Niall, Harry might stick to the plan more. Louis loved Harry more than anything, but he couldn’t keep going with this. It was too much to see the person he loved leave the house every night, and come back a different person. He never knew who would walk through those doors.

“Could I just have a moment alone with Lou?” Harry asked. Louis felt a wave of panic shoot through him. Just a few hours ago Harry had slapped Louis, hit him, he wasn’t ready for that again. He didn’t think Harry would hit him right now, but to be honest, he really just wasn’t ready to talk about it.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Harry” Niall said. Louis looked at Niall and gave him an appreciative look.

“No please, I just really need to talk to Lou privately. I’ll leave this house right now if I don’t.” Harry threatened. Louis started to cry again. He hated how quickly Harry’s moods changed now, from apologetic to hostile in a matter of seconds. “You can all wait in the kitchen.” He said. This time it was an order, not asking for permission. The boys looked at Louis, who gave the tiniest of nods, and then got up and left the room. Louis was left there by himself, shaking on the couch.

“Louis, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” He started slowly. “Even just now, when I threatened to leave. I already regret that, but I don’t know how to control it anymore.” He started crying again. “I’ve been so bad to you, I’ve been so horrible, I know. I’m not asking you to forgive me, because I could never ask that of you. I am asking for your help though.” Harry finished. Louis looked up at him.

“I’ve been offering my help this whole time. You always answered with a slap.” Louis said briskly. He needed Harry to know how hurt he was, it was the best bet for recovery. “Do you know what you said to me the other night? You said you wished I was dead, so that you could just collect my life insurance and be alone. You said you wished you never met me, because I ruined your life.” Louis reached for a tissue, his face an absolute mess. “I didn’t ruin your life Harry. That shit did.” Louis didn’t wait for his reply, he left the room, and walked into the kitchen where the other boys had been listening, and waiting for him with open arms.

Zayn walked into the living room, looking at Harry, body shaking with empty sobs. He thought he should feel bad for the young boy, sitting broken in the chair. It was Harry after all. Except it wasn’t Harry. Harry lifted his head, and Zayn looked directly at Harry.

“So it’s settled then, tomorrow we’ll lock down, and you’ll detox


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry’s flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn’t work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: so this chapter is seriously just filler for the next chapter, and information, but things pick up. I'm sorry it's so slow, but it's necessary to the story.

The rest of the day was spent preparing for the next four weeks. Louis and Niall went out to grocery shop, along with picking up anything else they might need. They made a stop at a pharmacy, picking up the pills their doctor had prescribed. Louis had made sure to speak with a professional about doing this, not just go in without a clue. The past month he had been setting up a plan for detoxing Harry. The doctor had prescribed some anti-depressants, and strong vitamins, just basic stuff. According to everything Louis had read, or been told, Cocaine was easy to get out of the system. It wasn’t like some of the other drugs where your body shut down. It would still be difficult, because the brain would still be addicted, even when the body wasn’t.

Louis was most worried about Harry’s mood. Those detoxifying from cocaine were said to become extremely depressed. Harry was already irritable enough as it is. No matter, it was the only way to save Harry, so he had to do it.

They returned home from the errands with bags and bags of groceries and necessities. Though they could order for more at any time, the boys had decided they wanted to go as long as they could without any contact. They were shutting off the cable, stopping their 3G plans, they really were disconnecting from the world. They still had the means to call, in case of emergency, but that was it. Louis didn’t know whether this plan would work better or not, but he figured Harry needed to focus.

What worried Louis most was the lack of space in the flat. It wasn’t like he would be able to go for a walk to get fresh air, or exercise or anything like that. He thought that might be detrimental, because exercise always seemed to be pretty important in these types of situations. There wasn’t any time to figure that out though, so their treadmill and balcony would have to do.

Upon their return to the flat, Zayn and Liam were nowhere to be found. Harry was asleep on the couch, moved back into its previous spot. Niall went to put away all of the groceries and Louis went to go seek Liam and Zayn. He found them in Harry’s room, going through all of his pants pockets, trash bags stuffed full next to them.

“How’s it going?” He asked them. They looked up and grimaced.

“This is the last room we’ve got of the house, we found other stashes, that box wasn’t it. So far we’ve found 6 other little baggies hidden in his pants.” Zayn said, clearly annoyed. Though he was annoyed, Louis knew it was only because he was concerned. It was scary to think they’d lock themselves up for four weeks, only to find out Harry hadn’t gotten any better.

By the time the house was clean, the cabinets stocked, and the meds picked up, it was nearly 11pm. The boys sat down for a quick meal together, then headed off to their separate rooms. It was decided that Louis and Harry would share Louis room for the next four weeks, as Harry shouldn’t be alone. Zayn and Liam were sharing Harry’s room, and Niall was in the guest bedroom.

When Louis finally found himself lying in bed, he was completely exhausted. But when he went to close his eyes, sleep did not come. His stomach was knotted and full of butterflies. However much he wanted to sleep, he was far too nervous for what tomorrow, and the next four weeks, held.

**********************************************************

Louis woke up after getting what he supposed was an hour or two of sleep. Even though Harry had spent all day yesterday in the house, clean from using, he knew today would be different. Harry didn’t always use every single day, he couldn’t. When they went travelling, Harry would go quite a few days without it. But as of recent he had been getting high much more.

He also tended to want to use more in stressful situations, much like the one they were in now. All together Louis was entirely nervous for the day. Still, he got himself out of bed, and dragged himself to the kitchen. Harry always cooked Louis breakfast, but in the past few weeks, Harry didn’t get up until noon. Louis would make himself something simple, and leave leftovers in the fridge.

This morning he decided to make everyone pancakes. One by one the boys slumped into the kitchen, sitting at their island. Louis would hand them each a plate, to which they would say thank you. It was all too quiet, it felt almost uneasy. They each knew what the other was thinking. They were all waiting for the same thing. It wasn’t long before their nerves were met. Harry walking into the kitchen, he knew he was the elephant in the room.

“Good morning lads, just in case you’re wondering, which I know you all are, I’m fine. Thanks for the pancakes Lou” He took a plate of pancakes, sat down next to Zayn. For a moment there, Louis saw a flash of the old Harry. Something about the way he wore a sarcastic look like he used to. Louis figured the more Harry changed, the more his heart would break. To watch his Harry come back from the beast, did didn’t know what it would be like. Though his attitude seemed to be fine now, his appearance did not.

Harry looked quite pale, eyes a bit sunken in, as I f he didn’t get much sleep. He probably didn’t, he didn’t think any of them did, but it was usual for cocaine addicts to not sleep. This was something Louis would have to get used to, being up whenever Harry was, just to watch him. Still something about the way he looked right now worried Louis, more than he already was. He reached for the prescribed vitamins, and placed them in front of Harry.

“Take these, please” was all he said, and Harry did. He wasn’t supposed to start the anti-depressants until the second week of detox, so for now that’s all he would take.

The day moved incredibly slow, and was uneventful. This was exactly what they all needed though, because if it had been some sort of hell, he wasn’t sure if they would’ve made it. Eventually it came time to go to bed, and this time, after checking to see if Harry was asleep, Louis drifted peacefully.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to be picking up now!

It seemed like everything was going well. The second day had breezed by just as well as the first, the only change he noticed was again, with Harry’s appearance. For some reason, he looked like he watch catching the flu, or a bad virus. He knew this was possible, because cocaine weakened the immune system, but Harry hadn’t been out to catch anything. That night when Louis went to bed, he felt even more at ease than the night before. Of course he wasn’t so naïve as to think the next four weeks would be like this, but it surely helped that the first few days were.

What Louis hadn’t expected though, was to be woken up at 4:30 to Harry running out of the room. Louis jumped out of the bed, and ran after him. He followed Harry who luckily ran to the bathroom, not the front door. He entered the room, just as Harry vomited into the bowl. He shook as he wretched forward. Louis knelt down next to him, rubbing his back and he continued to be sick. Harry was making awful choking noises, which Louis responding to with soothing ones.

“Shh Harry, it’s okay, it’s okay” Louis was sure now Harry had the flu, though how he had gotten it was a mystery to him. Just then Zayn appeared in the doorway.

“Everything alright Lou?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah Harry’s just been sick, but I’ve got it under control.” Louis assured. Zayn nodded and turned back to his bedroom. “Are you alright Harry” Louis asked, still rubbing his back. Harry just sobbed. Louis pulled him to his chest, holding him close. He hadn’t interacted with Harry like this in forever. All of their interactions were passionless, hugging, cuddling; even sex, but now they felt each other. They stayed like that for a few more hours, until Harry decided he was done being sick.

“Thank you Lou” Harry whispered, as Louis tucked him into bed. Louis merely nodded, and climbed in next to him. He fell asleep again, this time when he woke up, Harry was still asleep. He looked over at the clock. It was 11:00am, much later than he usually slept. He got up and walked to the kitchen. The other boys were there.

“Morning Lou, I made some French toast” Liam said, pushing a plate at him. “We figured you needed some extra sleep after staying up with Harry last night. Is he alright?” Louis took the plate.

“Yeah, I think he’s just got the flu or something. I read somewhere that your immune system on cocaine it total shit. He should be fine now though.” He explained. He ate the French toast as the others chatted about nothing. Once he was done, they decided to play a game of cards to entertain themselves. Louis was surprised at how much he missed just being able to watch TV, and it had only been 3 days without it. They began playing poker, betting M&M’s instead of money.

“Do you think this is going to work?” Zayn asked, throwing 7 green’s into the center of the table. “I mean, what if it doesn’t. What if we spend 4 weeks trying to get him clean, only for him to get out the day after and do a line?” Zayn was speaking everyone’s fears.

“I think we just have to hope for the best. It’s gone well so far. But I worry about that too. My worst fear is that we’ll get him clean, go on tour, and walk in on him getting high. Management will surely find out then, and he’ll be out for good” Louis said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. I mean, they’re trying to do everything to not kick him out. We all know he’s the ‘money-maker’” Niall said. This was true. Management made sure to market Harry more, because the girls seemed to like him more. Harry hated it, because he thought of all of the boys as equals. It really didn’t bother any of the other boys. The only thing that bothered them was the limitations it put on them. For instance, Louis and Harry having to hide their relationship, and Eleanor. No matter, they could have it worse.

But with Harry being most popular, it put more stress on this situation. They needed to get Harry better, or else they would all be in trouble. Yes, Harry would be kicked out, but the rest of them would be blamed for it. Management already blamed it all on Louis, which of course didn’t help Louis at all. They didn’t understand that they were only reassuring Louis, because he blamed himself too.

“None of this is your fault Louis” Liam said. It was as if he read Louis mind. That or his face was completely readable right now. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself. It’s as much all of our faults as it is yours. You didn’t know he would get addicted.” Liam said. He was trying to comfort Louis, but this only made him feel worse.

“I shouldn’t have let him do it in the first place though! I was with him the first time. I was with him the second time! I could’ve stopped this!” Louis shouted. It was then when he stopped. The house was completely silent. “What time it is?” He hadn’t been paying attention, and needed to make sure Harry got up to take his morning vitamins.

“It’s 1:37” Niall said.

“I’m gonna go wake Harry up, then” Louis said quietly. He walked down the hallway. He was surprised Harry had slept this long. It only convinced him more that it was a flu Harry had. He stopped outside of the door, waiting a moment to see if he could hear Harry snoring, but it was completely silent. He must really be knocked out, he thought. He opened the door, expecting to see Harry curled up, covered in a mountain of blankets. Instead he found Harry sitting on the floor. There was a tie around the top of this arm. In front of him were different instruments, a lighter, a small baggie, which was now empty. And in his arm was a small syringe, now completely empty.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it took longer than expected, but it is a longer chapter. I hope you enjoy it. In this chapter I played a game called "how many times can Molly makes Louis think this is his fault". I think I did a good job. So sorry it's kind of a bum chapter, I was a bit at a loss. I'll probably go back through and edit it. Man my writing is really going down the drain huh? Anyways love you guys!

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” Louis screamed, lunging for Harry. He’d already yanked the needle out of his arm, and thrown it across the room, hoping Louis didn’t notice. “WHAT THE FUCK?” was all Louis kept shouting. Harry’s eyes were wide, but he already looked glazed over, taken by whatever was in the needle. The other boys appeared in the doorway. They took in what they were seeing, Louis screaming and crying on the floor across from Harry. Harry with an arrange of items in front of him, the tie on his arm, a small stream of blood trickling down.

Niall entered the room first, and went directly to Louis, pulling him up, and out of the room. Louis struggled against him, Harry needed him right now. He wasn’t sure what to do to help him though, so out he went. Niall brought Louis to the living room, leaving Zayn and Liam to take care of Harry. He sat him down on the sofa.

“Louis calm down, you just need to breath” Louis hadn’t realized he was hyperventilating until now. He also hadn’t realized his boyfriend had been shooting up until now. It seemed he had been missing a lot lately. He didn’t care what Niall had to say to him, he didn’t care about anything. He just wanted to curl up, and pretend like there was nobody but him. So when Zayn rushed in the room, he didn’t realize it until he spoke.

Meth. That was all Zayn had said, before leaving again, gone off to help Liam. Louis felt his world crash. Since when had Harry been doing meth? How long? Louis wracked his mind, thinking back. Wasn’t meth supposed to make you skinny. Harry hadn’t seemed to be losing weight. Maybe a little. Harry had been doing meth, and it was all Louis fault. As far as Louis knew meth was one of those drugs you never got over. You were always an addict. He was pulled from his thought when he heard a loud guttural sob. It wasn’t until he became fully aware of himself that he realized it came from him.

“Louis?” Niall said, standing over him. Louis imagined he looked quite a mess right now, snot everywhere, tears staining his clothes. “Lou? Are you alright?” he asked again. Louis had meant to reply, he knew Niall needed to know he was alright. He felt selfish, they had just found Harry doing meth, but here he was sobbing, taking both him and Niall away from Harry. He was supposed to be helping Harry, not taking away his help.

“Lou!” Niall screamed, he smacked him across the face. It wasn’t rough, just enough to make him snap out of whatever daze he was in. He looked at Niall, he hoped Niall couldn’t see through to his broken heart. He needed to be strong.

“Sorry Niall, lost it for a moment there.” He replied brokenly. “I just… Meth? Harry’s been doing Meth?” Louis said, shaking his head. He couldn’t seem to comprehend it all. “How did I let him get so out of control?” he whispered.

“Louis none of this is your fault. You’ve gotta know that. Harry is an adult, he made his own decisions. So you may not have told him to stop in the beginning, but there was no way you could’ve known it was going to get this out of hand. It was just like joining One Direction, nobody knew we’d be this big.” Niall said, trying to comfort Lou.

“nobody knew how badly we’d fuck up either.” Louis replied sourly. This was his fault. The only way it could’ve been more his fault was if he had bought Harry the meth, and pushed the plunger himself. He might as well have, then at least the others would agree with him. Just as he was about to suggest they go back to check on Harry there was a loud crash from upstairs. Louis jumped up and bolted up the stairs, Niall was quick to follow.

Upon entering the room, there was Liam holding both of Harry’s arms back, Zayn was pressing his hand into his nose, which was spurting out blood, and Harry was thrashing around. Louis wanted to back out of the room, leave again, just have a moment to himself. He didn’t think he could handle this yet. Not this, he had never seen Harry on meth, he didn’t know what to expect. Or had he seen Harry on meth? The fact that Louis didn’t know upset him even more.

“let go of me you shit bag!” Harry screamed, trying to thrash his way out of Liam’s grip. Of course, Liam was much strong than Harry, and it was very clear that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. “Louis you wrecked everything. This is all your goddamn fault. I told you I didn’t want to detox, you made me anyways. I would’ve been fine. BUT NO. Inside you keep me from my cocaine, so I have to turn to this shit again!”

Again. What did he mean again? Had he used meth before and given it up? Was this not a regular thing?

“What do you mean again? Explain Styles.” Louis said roughly. He knew how to handle angry, druggy Harry. However much it hurt him, he knew how to be equally cold and terse with Harry.

“Aw shit, don’t act like you don’t know. Was I really that good at playing it off?” his tone made Louis’ stomach heave. It didn’t even sound like Harry. Upon looking up, he realized it didn’t look like Harry either. His face was hollow, deep circles around his eyes. He remembered how sick he’d been last night, how he had resembled some of the man before him now.

“It was that first night wasn’t it. That night you hit me for the first time.” Harry smiled, a wicked, sickening smile. Louis kept up his rude façade, but as he smiled, he felt his world shatter. Meth. Harry was doing meth, and meth is what had hit Louis. It was what wrecked their relationship. “Tell me everything now. How long. How many times. Everything.”

“I’m not telling you shit right now!” He yelled back. While Louis and Liam were interrogating Harry, Niall and Zayn had seemed to clean everything up, taking all paraphernalia that they could find, then leaving. They had shut the door behind them. Liam let go of Harry, and pushed him towards the bed.

“Louis this is no use, he’s drugged up. He’s not going to tell us anything without a fight.” Liam said. He was being sensible, but Louis was so angry he didn’t care. He knew he wasn’t angry with Harry, merely hurt, but that’s how it was coming out right now.

“Maybe I want a fight!” Louis said through gritted teeth, as Harry glared back at him. “Tell me everything. Now.” He demanded.

“Kiss my ass Tomlinson.” Harry said, then he lunged for Louis, punching him square in the jaw. Louis let out a yelp, as they crashed onto the floor. Harry was on top of him, squeezing his neck. He started seeing black dots. Harry had been violent before, but never this violent. How high was he? He was really struggling to breath now.

“Help! Zayn! Niall! Help!” Liam shouted. It was the last thing Louis heard before the spots took over and his whole world turned black.

*******************************************************

Louis opened his eyes slowly. It took him a minute to figure out where he was, and he had no clue the time. He sat up slowly, trying not to wake whoever was next to him. He knew it wasn’t Harry, because this was the guest room. Niall. Niall was in the guest room. Carefully, as to not wake Niall, Louis got up from bed, and left to room. He walked into the kitchen, looking to fix himself something to eat. He glanced at the clock. It was 7:05am. So he had slept for 15 hours or so.

“Louis is that you?” a quiet voice said. Louis snapped around quickly to find Zayn rubbing his eyes. “I was worried Harry had found a way out”. He said, reaching into the fridge to grab some grapes. “We’ve got him locked in, in case you were wondering”. Louis was wondering how they were handling him.

“Is he…any calmer?” Louis asked. He wasn’t sure how long this high would last, he figured more than 15 hours.

“Well we did a little research, and meth highs supposedly last for 12 hours, so technically it should be out of his system. But I imagine he’s probably still a little hostile, because he hasn’t really slept in a number of days, which of course is a side effect of both drugs, and their detoxing” Zayn sounded like he was reading from an encyclopedia.

“Yeah, I know the non-sleeping bit. But actually I’d like to go check on him.” Louis said

“I’ll come with you.” Zayn said. Louis shook his head. He knew Zayn was concerned, but he wanted to go alone.

“No I want to go by myself. You can wait outside, but let me go in alone.” Zayn’s face twisted. Louis knew he would argue.

“Louis there’s no way I’m letting you go in there by yourself. He almost killed you!” Zayn raised his voice, which was still soft enough to keep the others asleep.

“It was the meth that almost killed me, not Harry. It’ll be fine Zayn. He’s probably not even awake!” Louis assured, heading towards the room. Zayn grabbed his arm, he pulled it away. “Zayn, I’m going in that room by myself. You can wait outside.” He unlocked the handle, and slowly opened it. He held his breath, the last time he opened this door he was painfully surprised. This time, instead of seeing Harry on the floor ingesting drugs, he was curled up in his bed.

Louis walked over to Harry’s side. His eyes were closed, a thin layer of sweat covered his face. He brushed his hand against his forehead, moving some of the floppy curls away from his face. Harry’s eyes bolted open, Louis jumped back.

“Bloody hell Lou, you scared me” he said. Louis’ heart jumped. It sounded just like Harry, like old Harry. “Lou” he said, sitting up, looking deep into Louis’ eyes. Louis shuddered and tried to look away, he felt like all of his barriers were breaking. He felt a tear leak down his face. “Louis, I’m so sorry” he said in a broken voice. Louis tuned away. He should be the one apologizing. He’s the one that did this to Harry. Harry reached out to touch him, Louis moved away, he didn’t deserve any comfort. “I’m so sorry.” Harry whispered. Louis got up and left, walking past Zayn, who gave him a confused look. He entered the bathroom and shut the door, collapsing into a heap on the floor, body wracking with sobs. This was all his fault.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the latest chapter, which may contain triggers for some people. Just to let you all know, I have now written the outline for the rest of the story and it's looking like 15 chapters and a Epilogue. Anyways thanks for reading, sorry I suck.

Louis wasn’t sure how long he’d been in the bathroom for. Apparently he’d fallen asleep at some point, because he was now being jolted awake by a harsh bang on the door. He sat up wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Louis, hello? Are you alright? Louis open the door!” Zayn was shouting. Outside the sun was blazing, the sky was a beautiful blue, much unlike London weather. Much unlike the sky he’d seen when he’d woken up earlier this morning. Yesterday? He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t imagine the other boys would’ve left him locked in the bathroom for so long. “LOUIS!” Zayn yelled.

“for god’s sake Zayn give me 30 seconds.” Louis grumbled and he got up and walked towards the door. He unlocked it, flinging it open to face Zayn. “What is it?” Louis snapped. Zayn looked quite taken aback, as he should. Here Louis was sleeping in a bathroom, hiding from everyone in a stressful situation, Zayn had every right to be taken aback.

“Christ Lou, you’ve been in there for hours. Are you alright? That’s all we want to know.” Liam said, coming up behind Zayn. Louis instantly felt guilty, and sunk down.

“Yeah I’m fine, what time is it?” He said, pushing past them, walking into the living room where Niall was watching Finding Nemo, one of the few DVD’s they had at the flat. Louis felt like he’d seen Finding Nemo a hundred times now, they’d been locked down for only a few days, but he already missed cable and the internet. He plopped down next to Niall, resting his head on his shoulder. Niall put in arm around Louis and gave him a squeeze.

“It’s four in the afternoon!” Zayn said.

“what?” Louis squawked. He’d been shut up in that bathroom for 9 hours. “Well why didn’t you try and get me out sooner?” that’s what he didn’t understand.

“We did, you wouldn’t wake up. We could here you snoring though, so we weren’t too worried, but just recent it stopped and you wouldn’t answer the door and we go worried.” Liam said. He seemed like he wanted to say more, but didn’t want to upset Louis.

“Well then, how’s Harry doing this morning?” Louis said casually, he’d seemed better this morning. He hoped he was even better now, he even thought he might build up the courage to go and talk to him again, this time holding a conversation instead of running out crying. 

“Louis what exactly happened when you talked to Harry last?” Zayn asked.

“Well I mean, not much, I didn’t say anything to him. He was all sweaty, so I wiped his face off. That woke him up and he apologized, and I…well I got upset and walked out.” Louis explained. He hadn’t thought anything was wrong with that. “Why? What have I done?”

“Nothing. You haven’t done anything, Harry’s just a bit touchy is all. We weren’t sure whether it was just from the lack of meth in his veins, or you had done something to set him off.” Zayn said. Louis was offended. Why would they think he’d do something to upset Harry, Harry was the one that strangled him after all.

“Well, I suppose I’ll go and speak with him them, try and sort things out.” Louis said, removing Niall’s arm from his shoulders, standing up.

“Louis he’s not going to let you in. He won’t speak to anyone. We open the door and he screams. The only time we open it now it to throw food in and his medication. Which by the way, we’ve called the doctor and they’re sending someone over with different medication. A detox from Meth is a bit rougher than cocaine.” Louis just shrugged.

“I’m going to talk to him, whether it’s through screaming or not.” Louis moved past them, and down the hallway, the same path as he had this morning. He walked into the room. Harry was sitting in the chair by the window, eye’s looking dead. “Hello Harry” Louis said, trying to sound cheery.

“What do you want Louis?” Harry said. It wasn’t angry, it wasn’t happy. It was nothing. It was empty. That’s when it hit Louis, that if not for the drugs, Harry wasn’t even there. Harry was empty.

“Just-Just checking on you Harry. They boys said you were having a bit of a rough day.” Louis said quietly. He hadn’t moved from his spot, a foot from the doorway. Harry’s head shot up and glared at Louis.

“A bit of a rough day?! Louis you have no idea what I’m going through! The past few days have been a living hell for me. The meth was supposed to help. It did nothing!” Harry yelled. He put his head down again muttering on about the guy he had gotten it from, promising it would help in this specific situation. “My body is at war with itself. I just want to feel that ease again. It’s been what, 4 days? Look at the wreck I am! There’s no way I’ll last four weeks. There’s no way I’ll detox.” Harry said.

“Harry, don’t say that. We’re going to get you clean, and we’ll keep you clean.” Louis said, walking forward, placing an arm on Harry’s shoulder.

“What don’t you understand Louis? I. Don’t. Want. To. Detox.” Harry spat. His mood swings were scary. “give me my vitamins and get out.” Harry mumbled. Louis walked to the kitchen quickly, returned with Harry’s vitamins and medication and left.

That night, he slept in Niall’s room again. He didn’t get much sleep, he couldn’t imagine any of the boys had. Harry was up all night screaming, making agonizing cries for help or relief. All Louis could do was lay there next to Niall, crying silently

***********************************************************

The next few days were all the same, only visiting Harry to give him his medication, listening to him moaning and screaming through all hours of the day. It was taking a toll on all of the boys, Louis could see them falling to pieces before his eyes. This only made him feel more guilty. Maybe he should’ve have asked the boys for help in the first place. He should’ve done this on his own.

They were all exhausted, it’s hard to sleep when someone is screaming. They all doze during the day, when Harry seemed to be the quietest. Whenever Harry would drift into a fitful sleep, they’d take the opportunity to do the same, only to be awoken a little while later by his screams. They’d figured out after the second of third night that hot baths helped Harry, who was in incredible amounts of pain.

It was usually Liam, Zayn and Niall who would put him in the bath and sit with him. Louis tried one of the first times, but ran out crying, after watching Harry’s body shake with violent tremors, mouth slit open letting out painful moans. His eyes would stay shut, but Louis knew better than to think he was sleeping. He couldn’t stand to see Harry that way. So broken, so unlike Harry.

Harry had always been the liveliest of the boys, besides Louis himself. He was the youngest after all. He was always jumping about, making jokes, flirting with whomever. Louis remembers the first time Harry tried Cocaine, all of his enthusiasm heightened. Louis didn’t think it was so bad, though he hoped it was a onetime thing.

Now as he listens to Harry moan, Niall sending soothing noises trying to calm him, it was all too much for Louis.

“JUST LET ME DIE! I JUST WANT TO DIE!” Harry screamed Louis brought the pillow to his head, clasping it around his ears, trying to block it. “LOUIS PLEASE. LOUIS HELP ME.” He heard. He let out a sob. He knew Niall was with Harry, he knew Harry would be alright, but Harry didn’t know that. Louis got out of the bed, and walked to the nearest bathroom, the one unoccupied by Harry and Niall. He shut the door quietly.

He quickly and quietly rummaged through the drawers, looking for what he wanted. His fingers clasped around it. He pulled it out and examined it. The razor was old, so it was a bit dull, but it’d have to do. He decided cutting his arms would be too noticeable, so instead to cut his thighs. It was the least inconspicuous spot. He lift the razor to the soft skin. The same soft skin Harry had kissed so many times.

“LOUIS!” he heard echo through the house once more. With Harry’s cries of pain swimming in his ears, Louis slid the razor across the unmarked skin, and cried.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry, but I promise the next...well the rest of them, are going to be good! As always thanks for reading!

Louis awoke in the morning with a start, head resting on the cold tiles. He hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep, never mind when. His sleep had been full of the haunting shouts of Harry. Begging him to die, to kill him. The most sickening part was Louis knew they weren’t just in his dream. He was surprised Niall or one of the other boys hadn’t come check on him, they were probably passed out somewhere themselves. Upon glancing down he saw his bloodied thighs, the cuts from last night having scabbed over. He stood up, sorted himself out and took a wet cloth, rubbing off the dried blood. He felt like there should be a burn to it, but Louis felt nothing.

After spending 15 minutes cleaning himself up, making sure there was no trace of what he’d done the night prior, Louis left the bathroom. He ventured out through the rest of the apartment, searching for the other boys. The living room was empty, along with the kitchen and bathroom, though it was a mess from last night. When Louis opening the door to Zayn and Liams room, he found it too, was empty. He started to worry, what if they weren’t in Harry’s room. What if something had happened while Louis was knocked out? What if they were at the hospital. What if Harry was hurt, on his death bed even, and Louis was still here. Louis rushed out of the room, and ran down the hallway, bursting into Harry’s room. Louis let out a breath. There was Harry, curled up in bed, Liam and Zayn lying on some pillows and blankets on the floor, and Niall in a chair.

Apparently Louis’ panic hadn’t been enough to disturb them, because they did not move. After going around the room, making sure Harry was breathing, he left the room. He went into the bathroom to tidy up. It was completely wrecked, puddles everywhere, bottles strewn about, dried vomit around the toilet. Louis shuddered thinking of having to witness it. It made his thighs itch, desperate to be sliced once more. These thought scared Louis, he remembered in high school being able to pick out the kids who everyone knew cut. He couldn’t imagine being in a position to harm oneself. Now he was fighting himself not to. All because his boyfriend was a meth addict. It was all pretty fucked up.

Louis spent half an hour cleaning the bathroom before deciding it was clean enough. He moved to the kitchen, figuring out what he wanted to fix for breakfast. It was probably best he made enough for everyone. So Louis went to making waffles, while the others slept. Louis quietly hummed to himself moving about the kitchen. It seemed like it’d be so long since he had sung. In reality it had only been a week or two, but it’d been a long time since he’d enjoyed it. He wondered if he’d ever enjoy it again. If Harry didn’t pull through this detox, he knew it’d lose its magic. There was no point in One Direction without Harry, there was no point in Louis singing if not for One Direction. That’s how he saw it now.

After making breakfast and wrapping up the leftovers, Louis realized he’d been awake for quite some time. It was getting to be afternoon, and though he wasn’t sure when they’d all gone to sleep, he still felt they should be woken. He knew Harry had medication that he needed to take, and that the others hadn’t eaten recently. He headed back to the farthest bedroom, and walking in slowly. This time upon entering, he saw Zayn and Liam sitting on the ground against the backboard of the bed, whispering to each other. Niall was still asleep, along with Harry.

“Morning mates” Louis whispered. They looked up. They looked like complete shit, eyes sunken, ringed with bags, pale complexions, and rough lips. Louis wasn’t surprised though. He was pretty sure he himself looked like complete shit. He walked over and sat down in front of them.

“What time is it?” Niall, who apparently had woken up, said from behind him.

“It’s 12-ish” Louis said “I didn’t want to wake you, but doesn’t Harry have medication he’s supposed to take at noon?” Liam nodded. Zayn just sat there, dazed out and looking miserable. “I’ll go get it, will you guys wake Harry” Louis said, getting up to leave. He didn’t wait for a reply, and assumed they would. He returned with the handful of pills and a glass of water. Harry was sitting up in bed. He’d though Liam and Zayn looked like shit, but they were nothing compared to Harry. Louis wasn’t even sure if it was Harry at all. It looked like an alien version of Harry, like a bad clone of him. Louis went to give him the pills. He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he just handed him his meds and took a step back, making sure he took them.

“How’re you feeling Harry?” Niall said from across the room. Why couldn’t Louis do that? That was simple enough, just to ask Harry how he was feeling? It was Harry for Christ’s sake, not some stranger. Sitting in front of him was Harry, the boy he loved, he needed, he shared everything with. So why had everything changed?

“Like shit” came out as a croak. Before he realized it Louis’ hand shot out to hold Harry’s. For the first time in too long, Harry kept still, didn’t protest. Louis could’ve even sworn the corners of his mouth turned up a bit.

“You’ll be alright?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Breakfast is in the fridge” Louis said quietly. The other boys excused themselves from the room, off to get breakfast. Louis just sat there, beside the bed, caressing Harry’s hand. He wasn’t sure how long he’d stay like this for, but he hoped it’d be forever.

It was all too soon though, he was rushing behind Harry to the bathroom. Rubbing his back as he dry heaved over the toilet. They were incredibly violent, body wracking heaves, but there was nothing to expel. All Harry had consumed in the past few days was some water and pills.

“Shh baby” Louis whispered to Harry, as he trying to relax him. Harry continued to retch, until he collapsed into Louis’ arms. Louis was brought back to a week ago, when he’d been in this same position. That was just days into the detox. Before they even knew what they were getting into. “Why did you do this baby?” Louis wondered quietly.

“Don’t” Harry choked out, before his body went to push again. “God I’m so tired. Lou I can’t go on like this. Please. Just give me a few extra pills. I’ll go to sleep, and I’ll never wake up and everyone’s problems will be solved. I won’t be suffering, you won’t be suffering, the others won’t be suffering. Please Louis” Harry begged.

“Just breathe Harry. Everything will be alright. Just breathe.” He didn’t know what else to say. What do you say when you’re holding the person you love most in the world, and they’re begging you to kill them. They’re begging you to kill them because they can’t handle the pain they’re in right now. Louis sure as hell didn’t know, so instead he’d just sit here and breathe with Harry.

The retching and crying continued for the next few hours before Harry’s body was completely spent, and he passed out. Louis picked Harry up, a task that was too simple for Louis’ comfort. Harry had never been heavy for Louis, but now he felt like he was carrying a child. He brought him to their room and laid him down on the bed. He didn’t want to leave Harry alone, and didn’t know where the other boys were. He didn’t mind staying himself though. He slipped into bed next to Harry, eyes sagging with exhaustion.

The next day was the same as the last. Louis spent it with harry, trying to support him. Harry kept asking Louis to kill him, and Louis had to remind the boys to hind his medication, just in case. Though things certainly weren’t good, it was at least manageable. Harry was too weak to do anything of concern. The boys were able to get Harry enough nutrients to keep him alive, and the same for themselves. Everything was controlled.

They were exactly 2 weeks into the detoxing now. Harry wasn’t doing what one might call well, but he was surviving, and he wasn’t on meth or cocaine, so the boys took that as a success. As Louis took Harry out of his room to go to the bathroom, a simple task he now needed help with, Harry insisted on going in alone.

“Harry you know we can’t let you go in alone. It’s just me. I’ll turn around if it’d make you feel better?” Louis said softly. Harry was leaning on him for support, but Louis felt Harry shirt his weight, trying to not.

“It’s like you think I’m a child for god’s sake! I’m an adult. This whole time you’ve treated me like a child and I’m sick of it! I can use the bathroom by myself. Now let go of me.” Harry yanked himself away from Louis. It caused Harry to stumble, too weak to maintain balance. Louis reached out, grabbing Harry again. “Don’t fucking touch me!” he shouted. He then swung his arm, which hit Louis square in the head. Louis’ head knocked back into the wall, causing him to shout out. Harry didn’t stop though, he continued to batter Louis. Though he was incredibly weak, he still managed to beat Louis down with forceful blows.

“LIAM! ZAYN! NIALL!” Louis screamed as Harry shoved him to the ground, lifting a foot to kick him. Louis curled up, shutting out the world, until he felt it stop. He was lifted up, and carried away. “You can put me down I’m fine” Louis said.

“You’re not fine Louis, your druggie boyfriend just beat the shit out of you” Liam said, setting him down on the sofa. He looked Louis in the eyes, face soft and concerned. Louis opened his mouth to say something, but instead burst into tears. He sat there sobbing onto Liam for some time, before he felt himself being lifted again, and then placed into bed.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: so this wasn't going to be updated till I hit my goal but I hit it so there we go. Anyways sorry it took so long. Also it might be really bad, I'm going to go through and edit it tomorrow, but I'm hella tired right now, so yeah. This chapter is mostly about Louis and the other boys. Here it is, longest chapter yet. Hope you like it.

Louis woke up the next morning feeling incredibly stiff and sore. He walked to the bathroom, switching the light on, and looked in the mirror. He let out a small gasp upon meeting his reflection. His cheekbone was outlined with a large yellowing bruise. Though he couldn’t see it, he felt a large lump on the back of his head from where it had met with the wall. He then lifted him shirt up, examining his torso which was splattered with purple, yellow, black and blue bruises. The worst was one on his ribcage, which was a deep purple, outlined in green and red. Louis poked it, and let out a small sob.

Louis began to strip his clothes off, turning towards the shower, which he turned on. He went to step in before stopping. He reached over to the top drawer, pulled it open, and grabbed the razor he knew was inside. As he stepped into the shower, his heart began to race. He’d promised himself the other night it was just a onetime thing. Just a necessary action to get through Harry’s screaming. Now, as he stood in the shower, warm water running down his body, razor clenched in hand, it was clawing at him, like an itch.

He lift the razor to his thigh, and dragged it across. He did not cry this time. This time, instead of it being punishment for Harry’s pain, it was Louis controlling his own. He never knew when Harry would strike him, never knew when Harry would snap and hurt Louis. But now in the shower, razor in hand, Louis knew the exact moment he would feel the sharp sting of the blade. It was reassuring, that Harry wasn’t the only one who could cause him pain. He could control his own pain too.

Louis ran the blade across his thighs a few more times and watched as the drops of blood formed before building up and rolling down his legs. He watched it continue down, mixing with the water on the shower floor, all pooling together in front of the drain, before disappearing. As it disappeared, Louis found himself wanted to see more. He lifted the razor once more, this time pressing it into the soft skin. He let out a hiss, as it sliced through him, sending a thick stream of blood down his leg. Though it hurt much more, it was much more satisfying than the thin lines from before.

Just as he took the razor to the other leg, to repeat what he’d done to the other side, there was a knock at the door. He jumped, and the razor clattered to the ground before he finished.

“Louis is that you in there?” Zayn’s voice shouted from the other side of the door.

“Y-Yes” was all Louis stammered out. He needed Zayn to walk away. To just let him be and let him finish his job. He didn’t feel relaxed yet. He still felt all wound up. His veins were still laced with emotions just begging to be bled out.

“Are you alright? Liam wanted me to come check on you, give you some pain relievers and all that” Zayn continued.

“Tell Liam I’m an adult and can take care of myself.” Louis groaned, but still moved to stop the water. “I’ll be out in a minute.” He grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around himself. He began drying himself off, but stopped as panic washed over his body. He looked at the white towel, now stained partially red. He clumsily moved over to the cabinet, searching for something to stop the blood flowing out of his thighs. Though it did not bother him, he was sure Zayn would not be as calm at the sight.

He continued to rummage through the drawers and cabinet carelessly sending bottles and boxes flying everywhere.

“Louis? Is everything alright?” Zayn said again.

“Everything if bloody brilliant Zayn, seriously give me 30 seconds and you can baby me” His hand found a roll of gauze. Why in God’s name they had gauze under their sink was beyond Louis, but in that moment he was so grateful, it didn’t matter. He took the gaze and ripped up blocked to cover the cuts. Since there was nothing to hold it in place, he stuck a million Band-Aids to the edges. It would make do, just as long as he didn’t bleed through it while Zayn was with him.

He swung the door open quickly, just as Zayn had lifted his arm to knock yet again. Zayn let out a gasp when he looked at Louis. “I’m here I’m fine! Give me the pills and leave me to myself please.” Louis said.

“Lou you’re covered in bruises. Look at your ribs. Look at your face.” He whispered, trying to pull Louis to him. Louis pulled away from his grip. “I’ll just, I’ll go get you some ice then” Zayn said, handing Louis the water and pills before turning out of the room and towards the kitchen. Louis looked at the pills in his hand, turning them over and over before deciding to throw them away. He didn’t want pain relief. He walked over to a pile of clothes on the floor, and pulled on a pair of pants quickly before Zayn returned. As he was pulling a shirt over his head he heard a cough from the doorway. He turned, expecting to see Zayn with ice packs. Instead it was Liam, empty handed.

“Yes Liam? What would you like?” Liam’s face was soft, he looked almost apologetic.

“Nothing Louis, I was just checking to see if you were alright. Zayn…Zayn told me about your bruising and I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” Liam said softly.

“I’m fine. Please, could you all just, just let me be?” Louis said, turning his back to Liam. He stood like that for a minute, before turning around to see he’d left. Louis shut the door, and collapsed on the bed, sobbing loudly. He no longer cared if they heard. He knew they would come and disturb him after he’d already sent them away.

At some point in his crying Louis fell asleep. He would probably still be asleep if it was not for the loud crash, followed by even louder yelling coming from the hallway. He jumped out of bed, yanked the door open and ran to the hallway. Niall was on the floor, clutching his face. Liam and Zayn were both holding Harry back, trying to move him towards his room, where they would lock him in. Harry was persistent though, trying to break away. In his struggle, he caught sight of Louis.

“You again, shit face!?” He yelled “I thought I taught you to leave me the fuck alone!” Louis walked over to where Niall was on the ground, grabbed his hand, and led him to the living room. “I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL!” Harry shouted through the house. He continued to yell profanities at the boys. The shouts echoed through the halls, Louis thought they might stay hidden within the walls forever. There was a loud slam of a door, then more banging, but Liam and Zayn emerged into the living room. They collapsed on the sofa across from Louis. Niall walked to the kitchen, off to fetch an ice pack.

“I cant. I can’t.” Zayn whispered into his hands. He was shaking his head furiously. Liam was rubbing his back, trying to calm him. Niall retuned, package of peas pressed against his already purpled cheek. He sat down next to Zayn.

“It’s okay Zayn, we’ll be fine” Liam said, still rubbing his back.

“No. I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry Louis” Zayn said, looking up at him. “But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stay here. I need to leave. I can’t do this anymore” he said, dropping his hands back in his face. Louis felt tears rush to his eyes. “Harry’s beating the shit out of everyone. Niall just sits there like a sad puppy, never says anything. Louis breaks down crying half the time. Liam is the only one of us that hasn’t broken down yet. He’s the only thing holding us together.”

“Yeh, but you leaving isn’t going to make it better” Niall said quietly beside him.

“I know, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take the stress. I just need a day to go out and breathe. I just need to breathe, and there’s no more air in here.” Zayn’s breath began to quicken.

“Zayn calm down, you’re gonna have a panic attack. Please, c’mon, let’s go have a lie down?” Liam pleaded, lifting Zayn up and shoving him towards their room. Louis watched them disappear behind the door. After they’d gone, there was no more talking to distract from Harry’s shouting. Louis looked over at Niall.

Zayn’s description wasn’t an exaggeration. He did look like a sad puppy. He looked broken and scared. He looked like they all felt.

“I know I don’t do much talking, but I just don’t have much left to say.” Niall said, looking at Louis. “I’m not going to leave. I’m not going to break down in a panic, but sometimes it’s just easier for me to stay quiet. I guess that’s how I deal with stress” he ended calmly.

“I know Niall. It’s okay” Louis said, moving over to sit with him. Niall curled around him, and they both fell asleep within seconds.

“Louis wake up” Niall said, shaking his shoulder gently. “Lou, Liam and Zayn need help, Harry needs to take his meds, but he’s gonna throw a fit” Niall explained. Louis rubbed his eyes, and pushed himself off the sofa. They walked down the hallway to where Liam and Zayn were standing, outside Harry’s door.

“Just bloody get it over with” Louis said, stepping forward, undoing the lock on the door, and throwing it open. The room was dark, blankets draped over the windows to top light from getting in. Louis reached for the light switch, and flicked it on. Harry was nowhere to be seen.

“What the fuck?” Zayn exclaimed. Louis turned and shushed him. He walked over to the closet and opened the door. There was Harry lying on the floor, knocked out. Liam pushed past Louis and reached for Harry, who jolted awake at his touch.

“Time for your pills Harry” Liam said coolly, handing him the pills and water. Though he hadn’t spoken yet, Harry’s eyes were shooting daggers at them all. He looked possessed. Eye’s sunken, cheeks hollow, eyes on fire with a blind rage. He swallowed the pills, and drank the rest of the water, before opening his mouth to speak.

“That’s fine that you’re all depriving me for now.” He started, his voice raw and broken. “but just know, as soon as these 4 weeks are done with, I intended on going back”. It was one of the calmest, least violent thing he’d said in the past few days, but it was the most threatening. It was something that made Louis feel like he was breaking inside.

The thought of going through all of this, just to have Harry go back to his old ways was devastating. Not only would One Direction lose Harry, but Louis would lose Harry. That’s what this was all about really, at least for Louis. Louis needed Harry back. If he didn’t have Harry, then there was no point in Louis either.

“leave. Now” harry all but hissed at them. They did, they all turned and shut the door behind them. They left the room, locking it behind them. Louis walked to the kitchen, realizing he was quite hungry. The other boys followed, none of them speaking. They sat their quietly eating, keeping their heads down. Louis felt like if anyone spoke now, the others would break. Everything felt like it was made out of porcelain, like their emotions and persons could break at any moment.

“I just wanted to let you know” Zayn said in a voice barely audible “I’m not going to leave. I just-“ he paused, but Liam nudged him to go on. “I just lost if a bit yesterday, after seeing Louis, then Niall, it was just a bit too much all at once. But I’ll never leave you guys in this situation.” He said. Louis tried to smile at him, tried to express his gratitude through it, but sure his dead eyes and painfully stretched mouth would fail him.

“I can talk more if you like Zayn” Niall said. “I’ll just go on for hours until you beg me to shut up.” Zayn chuckled, just like Louis smile, it was forced, but no one was offended. In fact, the mood had shifted. Niall had said some stupid joke, and this time Zayn really laughed, making Liam laugh. Louis hadn’t heard it, Louis did not laugh. They continued to joke about.

“I’m going to the bathroom” Louis excused himself. Liam looked towards him, a concerned look on his face. “Just gotta wee Li, take it easy” Louis said. Of course he was lying, he just hoped Liam hadn’t noticed. He walked through the bedroom, into the bathroom, and quickly shut the door. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Harry had said. About how close he was to losing Harry. He couldn’t lose Harry. Harry was his everything. He yanked the drawer open, but the razor wasn’t there.

“Fuck” Louis muttered quietly. The bathroom was a mess, he kicked things around on the floor, looking for the razor. It was the only one in this bathroom, all the others were in his bathroom. He started to panic. His skin was on fire, itching for the sting again. That’s when Louis remembered the shower. He ripped the shower curtain open, to see it laying on the floor of the tub. He snatched it up, and clambered into the tub.

He pulled his pants off and threw them across the room, positioning himself. He closed the curtain, and took a deep breath before taking the razor to his thigh. He was not as gentle as he had been in past times. The blade tore through his skin. He cried out softly, resting his head against the cool tile wall. He started to cry, Harry’s words echoing through his mind. There was no way he could go through all of this just to lose Harry in the end. That was something he couldn’t take. He ran the razor over his thighs again and again, until the streams of blood met each other, running down his legs, pooling in the bottom of the tub. There was no water to wash it away. Louis just watched as the puddle grew, and cried. He took the blade to his wrist, wanting more.

“Louis No!” Liam shouted, lunging for the razor in Louis hand. “Louis, Louis, no!” Liam said, clutching at him. Louis tried to move away, but found himself almost in a daze. The other boys were behind Liam now, gasping at the puddle of blood between Louis’s legs.

“I’m fine Liam. I’m fine, please just let me go.” Louis said quietly. Liam had turned to hand Niall the razor and was giving Zayn strict instructions. Zayn moved to the shower handles, turning the water on, then grabbed a wash cloth, and handed it to Liam.

“You’re not fine Louis. You’re definitely not fine” Liam said, he sounded panicked. Louis felt angry with himself now. This is stupid. They shouldn’t be here taking care of Louis, they should be looking after Harry. That’s what this was all about. Harry, not Louis. Louis began to cry more at this thought. He was taking their care away from Harry.

“Shh Louis, everything will be alright.” Niall said softly to him. Zayn reached to grab his hand, and Liam removed his shirt, leaving him in his boxers only. He gently pressed Louis thighs, trying to clean some of the blood away. It hurt. It hurt so bad, Louis cried out. Liam continued to clean he cuts, Niall continued to speak softly to him, and Zayn continued to hold his hand.

After they quickly showered him, Liam found the gauze, and dressed the cuts, trying to do his best. Throughout the entire time, Louis did not stop crying. Liam lifted him up, and brought him to the bed in the next room. After a moment of silence, he spoke.

“I’m sorry” Louis said quietly. He waited a moment, trying to collect the rest of his thoughts. “I don’t want to die. I’m not trying to kill myself.” He explained first. He figured it was most important they know that. “ I just, I don’t know how to deal with all of this. It hurts me so much.”

“You could’ve talked with us Louis” Zayn said.

“But that would’ve kept you from Harry. That’s what this is all about, Harry. That’s why I feel so angry at myself now. I’m taking you all away from him. That’s exactly the opposite of what I was doing.” Louis said, getting frustrated with himself. “Everything is my fault. Harry wouldn’t even need to be detoxing if it weren’t for me. All the pain he’s going through is my fault and it hurts me so bad.”

“Louis, we’ve been through this, it’s not your fault. You don’t need to punish yourself for his actions.” Liam said.

“I won’t. I won’t anymore. I won’t take any more attention away from him.” Louis said. Liam sighed.

“That’s not what this is about Louis, but as long as you promise to not do it anymore, we can talk about it more later.” Liam said.

“I promise. I won’t let myself take anymore away from Harry” Louis said urgently. He needed them to understand that.

“Niall is going to stay with you Lou, alright?” Liam said softly, no longer addressing the subject. Louis nodded. “We’ll talk after you’ve slept some.”

“I won’t do it anymore.” He repeated, and Liam shook his head.

“It’s okay Lou, after. Just sleep.” Louis wanted to protest. He needed them to know that he wouldn’t do it anymore. He wouldn’t take anymore form harry than he already had, but he suddenly felt very heavy. He felt like there were weights on his eyelids, before he could say anything else, sleep took over.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I felt poopy today, but I already had half of it written so I figured i'd tough it out, i hope you enjoy it, it's kind of leading to the end of Detox. I know it hasn't been the fluffiest, larry-est, most well written of fanfictions, but thank you to everyone who's been reading and enjoying it. Just so you all know, there will be 15 chapters, and an Epilogue in Detox, so there are 5 chapters left, and I'm hoping to update more than once a week now. Anyways enjoy!

That morning Louis woke up to find Niall in bed next to him, Zayn sleeping in front of the bathroom door, and Liam in front of the actual door. Louis shut his eyes again, hoping to fall back asleep only to wake up and have this be a dream. He did not want to have the promised continuation of that conversation. Louis just wanted to promise to never do it again and turn all the attention back to Harry.

“Louis? I saw your eyes open. Are you up?” Zayn said. Louis groaned mentally and reopened his eyes.

“Yes, I’m awake.” Louis said bluntly. He threw the covers off of himself, and gently got out of bed. Niall, of course, remained sleeping. Liam seemed to also be awake, and was now standing up, stretching himself out. Liam and Zayn had slept on the floor because of Louis, he felt bad. When he remembered how used to it they were he felt even worse. “Let’s get some breakfast then.” Louis followed Liam out of the room and Zayn was behind him.

“I’ll make waffles” Liam said. No one was really saying much. The cheery spirit of last night was broken. Louis made coffee for them, and somewhere in between the coffee and waffles Niall emerged and sat with them. They ate quietly; the only noise was the sound of their forks rubbing across their plates. The silence was unbearable, Louis had to break it.

“I know I said it last night, but I wasn’t trying to kill myself. That was never my goal.” Louis explained again. Liam placed his fork down and looked at him, but it was Zayn who spoke.

“Regardless of why it was, and is, happening, it has to stop. Just because you don’t want to kill yourself, doesn’t mean you won’t. While you were passed out last night, practically in a coma, Liam and I woke up hourly, changing your gauze. And in case you were wondering Lou, you had bled through it every time. We would make sure you were still breathing. At one point we figured we’d have to call an ambulance. Do you have any idea how pale you are right now? You look like a bloody ghost, because you lost so much blood. Louis, for whatever reason you’re doing it, just please, stop?”

“I already told you I would stop. I said that last night!” Louis shouted back. Were they not listening to a word he had said last night? He meant them all.

“We figured everything you said last night was just from a panic. I mean, after dealing with Harry for so long, we don’t trust what anyone says. He said he’d detox, and you found him with a vile full of meth in his arm.” Niall said.

“Well then, I will clear it up again then.” Louis said annoyed. He wasn’t a drug addict like Harry. He wasn’t even addicted to cutting himself, there were just times he felt he needed it. Times he felt like he was suffocating in all of this, and it was the only way he could just breathe. “I’m not going to cut anymore. That’s a promise. I don’t want to take any more from Harry than I already have, and that’s what this is doing now. I know you guys don’t like my reasoning behind it, but that’s my promise. Can we move on now?”

“I suppose so. Louis are you alright?” Liam asked. Of course Louis wasn’t alright, he was a mess, but he’d figure himself out after Harry was fine.

“I’ll be fine.” Louis said shortly. “I’ll go bring Harry his pills. Is he…is he under control now?” Liam nodded.

“He’s actually doing quite well. He was pretty calm last time we checked on him” Liam said.

Louis got up from the table, grabbed Harry’s medication and made his way down the hall to Harry’s room. He unlocked the door, and walked in.

“Harryyyy” Louis softly dragged out his name. “Time to take your pills, love” He took a step forward, feeling his sock grow wet. He flicked the light on and was taken aback when he realized what he was standing in. He was standing in a puddle of black fluid, strewn across the room were more puddles. Some puddles were bigger, others smaller, but all of them were just as alarming.

Louis ran over to the bed when there was a motionless lump of blankets. He pulled the covers half off to see an extremely pale Harry. He brought his hands to Harry’s face, rubbing circles around his cheeks.

“Harry, love, wake up” Louis said in a panic. “Harry please, wake up”. He began to remove the rest of the covers, checking to see if he was even breathing. Harry’s chest was moving up in down in shallow pants, his skin was ice cold. “oh god, please don’t die Harry, please wake up” He moved his hands from his face and onto his shoulders, shaking him hard. He reached for Harry’s hand, trying to find the pulse. Like his breathing, it was moving at a rapid pace. “Harry, love, please open your eyes” Louis begged, once again grasping Harry’s face in his hands.

As if on command, Harry’s eyes shot open, he sat up quickly, and vomited up what seemed to be a blood colored liquid. Louis jumped backwards, and Harry slumped back down on the pillow.

“Lou” he croaked. Louis’s eyes widened at his voice. Had he not seem Harry’s mouth move, he would’ve never believed it had been Harry who was speaking. His voice was rough and broken. Louis shook himself, and rushed to Harry’s side, grabbing his hand.

“Harry, harry, please, what do need. Keep your eyes open Harry” Louis begged. He figured now would be the time to call the boys to help. “Liam! Zayn! Niall!” Louis shouted towards the door. “Harry you need to drink this please” Louis went to hand Harry the glass of water, but realized Harry wasn’t capable of holding it himself. He set the glass down, and began to move Harry into an upright position. As he moved him, he heard small whimpers coming from Harry. Louis choked back a sob upon looking at his face. Harry’s face was as white as the wall behind him, you could see the tears running down his face, his bloodshot eyes looked dead. His lips were cracked, they no longer had that same warm pink to them, and were instead the same shade of white as the rest of him. Harry looked like death.

“Louis what’s going-” Liam began as he entered the room, but stopped after stepping in the same puddle Louis had. Liam wasted no time rushing to the bed next to Louis. “Harry have you been drinking the water we’ve been putting in here?” Liam asked softly. “Niall go get a warm washcloth, Liam start a bath.” Liam instructed. Louis hated how Liam could remain so calm in the midst of all of this. Why couldn’t Louis have figured that out for himself? It was simple enough, a washcloth to clean him here, a bath to put him in after, try to help him, but instead Louis sat there, clutching his hand, begging him not to die.

“Harry, please try and drink this” Louis said, raising the glass to Harry’s mouth. Louis wasn’t sure that Harry had heard him, but when he put the glass to his lips, and tilted it slowly, it was clear how hard Harry was trying to drink. Most of it ended up spilling down his front, but Harry swallowed some of it. He opened his mouth, and moved to scream, but nothing would come out. His broken voice could barely whisper, let alone scream. Harry still felt the pain of it all though. Tears began spilling out of his eyes.

“Louis, please” was all Harry whispered, staring Louis in the eyes. Louis had no idea what Harry was asking for. For more water? For help? To die? He didn’t know, and he sincerely hoped he wouldn’t have to find out until Harry was healthy and telling him coherently. Before Louis could assume he was asking for more water, Niall came into the room with the washcloth. He was careful to avoid the puddles of bile strewn about the room, and handed Louis the towel. Louis took it and began gently wiping Harry’s face with it. He cleaned up around his mouth first, then moved to his neck where there was more crusted vomit. Harry shut his eyes as he cleaned him, and though his mouth closed, there were still tears running down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Harry. I should’ve have let them leave you alone for so long. This is my fault” Louis whispered to Harry so softly that he knew the other boys didn’t hear. He couldn’t even be sure Harry had heard him. A few minutes later, after he’d wiped Harry down as best as he could, and forced a few more sips of water onto him, Zayn came in and said the bath was ready. Each of the boys grabbed Harry to make sure he was well supported. They carried him across the hall to the bathroom, where they gently set him down on the floor, taking his clothes off before placing him in the warm bath.

“I’m going to go get him some warm water to drink, and consult….consult anyone I can about this” Liam said. He looked incredibly concerned. Zayn left to use the bathroom, and then it was just Niall and Louis looking after Harry in the bath.

“Do you think you’d be alright if I went and took a nap?” Niall asked. “I know he’s sort of in dire condition and everything, but I don’t think me siting here watching him sit in a bath is going to help much. Plus you can call me if you need me.” He continued.

“Of course Niall, don’t worry about it, we’ll be fine” Louis said, looking at Niall and trying his hardest to smile. Then it was just him and Harry in the bathroom. Louis reached for Harry’s hand, which despite the warm water surrounding it, still felt incredibly cold. “Harry, I’m not very good at this detoxing thing.” Louis said, resting his head on the side of the tub.

“You may not have noticed, but neither am I” Harry whispered. It was the most like Harry, Harry had sounded in a very long time. However it was all he said for quite some time after. Liam returned with warm water for Harry to try and drink. As he took more and more sips, it seemed to get easier for him, but he still seemed to be in a remarkable about of pain. Liam didn’t stay in the bathroom with them for long, and Louis soon found himself alone with Harry again.

He sat like that for hours, Harry in the tub, Louis holding his hand. Every time the water got cold, Louis would change it, and cringe as Harry’s body shook from the violent shivers. That’s how they stayed for the longest time, trying to warm Harry up, trying to get him to drink more. Every once In a while Louis would say something to harry, sometimes he’d get a small hum as a reply, sometimes he’d get nothing. Liam would occasionally come in and take Harry’s temperature, which was incredibly high for someone so cold. It was safe to say Harry was in the worse shape he’d been throughout the whole detox.

Liam entered the bedroom and turned the light on. Louis jumped awake, not realizing he’d ever fallen asleep, let alone been moved to a bed. In a panic, Louis looked to his right, to find Harry asleep next to him, Hand still entwined with his.

“Louis, I think…. I think we need to call an ambulance.” Liam stuttered. Louis quickly looked to Harry, nothing in his face had changed since he last remembered, Louis could still see the rise and fall of his chest, still feel his pulse beating roughly through his arm. He looked back at Liam confused. “It’s just, he’s in such bad condition, and nothing we’ve done has helped at all. Louis it’s been 24 hours since you found him yesterday, do you understand that?” No, he did not understand that. How could it have already been 24 hours? He figured 6 or 7 at the most. How long had he slept for? “Louis his temperature hasn’t gone down since I last checked, and he’s so pale, and I suppose he hasn’t thrown up In a while, but before… well before it was blood, which should’ve been the first sign to call in.” Liam began rambling.

“Liam, nothing has changed. He’s still alive” Louis said softly. Liam huffed and gave him a rough look.

“Yes I know that Louis, that’s the problem. Nothing has changed. He isn’t getting any better, he’s dying. Do you understand that Louis? He doesn’t have a cold, he doesn’t have the flu, his body is shutting down and he’s dying.” Liam was using a stern tone, not an angry one, but it still scared Louis. Liam wasn’t joking around, Liam was concerned for Harry’s life right now.

“Well what do we do? If we take him to a hospital, it’ll be publicized, everything will be over. Everything we’ve done these past few weeks will have been for nothing, and Harry will either die in the hospital, or be kicked out of One Direction. We’re kind of between a rock and a hard spot.” Louis said.

“Louis, think about what you’re saying!” Liam all but shouted. “Would you rather your boyfriend die, instead of being thrown out of One Direction? Because I know if it were me in in your situation, that couldn’t even be an option. Louis. He. Will. Die.” Liam made his point clear, but Louis could find the words to say, to grant Liam permission to call an ambulance.

“Just one more night Liam, let me take care of him through the night, if he’s not better within the next 12 hours, we’ll call an ambulance. He’ll make it through this, I know he will.” Louis pleaded.

“He’ll be dead in the next 12 hours Louis. Give it up Lou, we’re in over our heads.” Liam said in a soft voice. Louis realized what he was saying. Liam knew that if they called an ambulance that all of their hard work and suffering will have been for nothing. Still Liam wasn’t one to take risks ever. He felt that the only way now was to call an ambulance.

“We’ll make it Li, one more night.” Louis insisted, giving Harry’s hand a squeeze underneath the covers. He let out a small noise as he felt a light squeeze back. As if Harry was reassuring him that he could do it, he could pull through. “We can do this” Louis said.

 

Liam shook his head and turned to leave the room, whispering “We’re in over our heads.”


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I know I said I'd post 2 chapters but I'm a horrible person and I only wrote one. BUT I think you'll like this chapter, okay? If you don't just message me all of your hate and I'll fully accept it. Detox is sort of winding down, it only has 4 full chapters left, then an epilogue (which won't be much) so yeah, just be prepared for that. I hope you like it!

Once Liam left the room, Louis felt incredibly scared. If Liam, the one who always had things under control, was always optimistic, was sure they’d be able to get through anything, was ready to call in, maybe Louis was wrong. And maybe Louis being wrong would cost Harry his life. Louis felt as if he was caught between a rock and a hard spot, but he’d already made the decision to fight through the night and he’d be damned if he went running out to Liam now, telling him to call 911. Louis had faith in himself, and even more so faith in Harry.

He looked down at Harry, white as the sheets he lay in, sheets that had since been washed from earlier. He squeezed Harry’s hand, it was a bit warmer now than it had been when they found him the other day. He then untangled his fingers from Harry’s, got out of bed and went to go what he thought were necessary materials. He moved quickly and quietly through the house, trying not to wake the other boys, or leave Harry alone for too long.

When Louis returned to the room, hands filled with jugs of water, bottles of medicine, towels, a heated blanket, a bucket, a wet wash cloth, and thermometer, he felt accomplished. He set it all down in the chair in the corner of the room, and walked over to the bed. Harry looked exactly as he had before he left. Louis decided that he should make himself a coffee, since it was going to be a long night, and he was working off of an incredibly little amount of sleep.

This time when he slipped back into the room, he was startled when Harry let out a soft groan. It was the first indication he was even alive he’d made since yesterday. Louis rushed over to him.

“Lou” he mumbled. Louis eagerly grabbed his hand.

“Yes Harry, I’m here what do you need love?” Louis asked softly. He could feel his heart beating incredibly fast, desperate to help Harry however he could.

“water. Please.” Was all Harry could choke out.

“Of course Harry.” Louis said quickly, running over to the chair where he’d left all of the water. He poured a glass, gotten a lid and shoved a straw in it, rushing it back over to Harry. “Harry you’re going to have to sit up a bit love, I don’t want you to choke” Louis said, reaching out to adjust Harry so he would drink with ease. Harry was incredibly light and easy to move, and all too obliging. To be honest it was sort of nice. Harry had been hostile and difficult this entire time. Louis felt ashamed afterwards thinking he enjoyed this, because he realized he was only weak because he was dying.

Harry took a few sips of the water, partially choking on it because he was so dehydrated, then shut his eyes to sleep again. Louis pulled the heated blanket over and covered Harry with it, trying to warm him as much as possible. He ran to the bathroom to wet a washcloth, then draped it over his forehead. He’d take Harry’s temperature hourly and cringe as the number stayed the same. Every so often Harry would wake up and drink a bit of water. Louis would force him to take some pills, trying to break the impossible fever.

After what seemed like hours there was a soft knock on the door. Louis said nothing, nor did he move to unlock it. He just sat next to sleeping Harry, in a daze, refusing to think he needed to call an ambulance, or whatever it was Liam was trying to come in and tell him.

“Louis this is out of our control, open up” Liam’s voice rang through the door. Louis listened as Liam continued to shout through the door, banging on it. He didn’t know how long that continued on for, he just sat there, letting tears fall down his cheeks, holding over Harry hand, until he finally heard Liam sigh and announce his time was running out.

“Lou” Harry croaked, and Louis jumped awake. How did he keep falling asleep? He felt like he was failing the one job he had. “Louis” Harry said again. Louis got up and moved towards the water, grabbing it and bringing it over to Harry. He then flicked his phone on, checking the time; they’d been in here for almost 18 hours. Before he’d fallen asleep it’d only been 10 or so. He was surprised Liam hadn’t kicked the door down and dragged Harry to a hospital. 

“I need to give you some medication Harry, and check your temperature before you go back to sleep.” Louis pressed. Harry rolled over to look at Louis more, his cheeks were almost red. Louis didn’t think much of it until Harry spoke again.

“It’s okay; I’m not really that tired. I’m just really hot” Louis couldn’t help but let his face break out into a smile. “what?” Harry asked, voice still sounding rough.

“nothing, just swallow these and let me take your temperature” Louis said handing him a few pills. Swallowing the pills was quite the challenge for Harry, but he eventually did it. Louis then took the thermometer and ran it across Harry’s forehead, holding his breath as he turned to check the number. A small yelp escaped from his mouth as he saw the numbers displayed on the screen. 30.5 C. He took Harry’s hands in his face, feeling the warm of his cheeks, admiring the color. It was the most alive he’d looked in almost a month.

“I feel like I’ve been asleep for ages” Harry said, reaching for more water. That’s when it hit Louis, Harry wasn’t just breaking his fever, he was coming down from his high. The detox had been working, everything the boys had done was paying off. Louis began to cry, trying to be subtle as he wiped the snot off his face. Harry stopped drinking and looked at Louis, his eyes fill with curiosity.

“Sorry, I’m fine” Louis muttered, trying to get himself under control. “but how are you feeling, really?” Louis asked, reaching out for Harry’s hand. Harry gave him a small smile.

“I feel like I’m getting over the worst flu of my life. I feel sort of hazy? Like I’ve been a sleep for a really long time. I feel really weak, like if you asked me to walk to the bathroom I’d fall over after 2 steps. I feel like I could break really easily. I still feel like… like I could snap at the littlest thing, but I also feel like I don’t want to.” Louis just sat their nodding as Harry continued to explain how he was feeling, more in depth than Louis had expected, something that also made him smile. “How do you feel Louis? You look exhausted.” Harry asked, and Louis laughed.

“I’m fine Harry, I’m probably the best I’ve been this entire. You’re so, you today. I know you say you still feel on edge, but you aren’t dead, and you haven’t moved to hit me yet, so I’m great.” Harry flinched at Louis’ last sentence.

“I don’t remember that. I don’t remember doing those types of things you know? Because I don’t want to do them. I never want to hurt you Louis.” Harry looked incredibly sad.

“Of course I know that Harry, I know you’d never want to hurt me. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.” Louis said, pulled Harry’s head to his chest. He could feel a few spots on his shirt become wet.

“Louis, I never meant for any of this to happen. You have no idea how sorry I am. I don’t know how I let myself get that out of control. I take back what I said before. I do remember hitting you. The very first time, I remember it. I was so scared afterwards, I was scared of myself. I kept trying to apologize and talk with you, but you had locked yourself in your room. No matter how much I begged you didn’t come out, so I just went to my room and locked myself in. I remember thinking to myself that I’d keep myself locked in forever. I’d never go out again. I’d never use again.” Harry paused, wiping his face. “But I did, and that was the worst decision I’ve probably ever made, because it only got worse after that. After that I used more. I was trying to use more so that if it ever happened again, I wouldn’t remember. But I remember every time. I don’t remember actually hitting you, but I remember your face afterwards. And I remember how I felt. How I wished I could die right then and there because I’d rather die than hurt you.” Harry had to stop again, this time his body shaking with sobs. He opened his mouth to continue.

“Harry this is not your fault. I know you would never hit me. I know that wasn’t you. You were being controlled by that monster. It was never really you that hit me. I’d never hold that against you. I deserved it every time.” Harry let out a howl. “What? What’s wrong!?” Louis said in a panic.

“Don’t ever say that!” Harry sobbed. “How could you ever say something like that Louis?” Harry looked at Louis expectantly, waiting for his reply.

“Well…I just. It’s my fault anyways” Louis said softly, nervous for Harry’s reaction. Harry sat up quickly, and Louis flinched away, causing Harry to let out another sob.

“How could you even think this is your fault? Why would you ever blame yourself, Lou? None of this is your fault! And See!? The way you just reacted to me, I never ever want you to react to me like that. Like you’re scared of me. How could this ever be your fault? It’s not the monster, I’m the monster” Harry said, reaching for the dried out washcloth laying of the bed, blowing his nose in it.

“Well I was with you the first time you used it. I was sitting right next to you, and I watched you do it. I didn’t even try and stop you. I just went along with it. Then I went with you a few times after that, and I watched you become addicted, and I just sat there and did nothing. I watched you destroy yourself and pretended like it wasn’t happening, because I was too much of a coward to face it.”

“Louis you it’s not your fault. You didn’t force me to try it. You may not have stopped me, but you could’ve never known it was going to turn out like… like this.” Harry said softly. They sat their quietly for a moment, each of them think of exactly the right words to say to the other.

“Harry, I’m not scared of you…” Louis started, addressing his previous statements. Harry cut in.

“Louis you flinched away from me, you thought I was going to hit you. Don’t lie, don’t try and make me feel better.” Harry said brokenly, hanging his head. Louis watched as a tear slid down his nose and fell onto the bed. 

“I thought you were going to hit me, but I’m not scared of you. I was never scared of you Harry, just of what the drugs would make you do. You’re not on drugs now though, you’re just Harry. The same Harry I loved, that I’ve always loved.” He paused, meeting Harry’s eyes. “That I still love”

 

“I love you Louis” Harry said back. Before he knew it, Louis found himself wrapped up in Harry’s weak arms, his lips on Harry’s lips. He kissed him with such passion, a passion that had been missing for too long a time. They kissed until they fell over onto the bed, still entwined in each other, whispering soft words of endearment, and truthful apologies. That’s how they stayed, covered in each other’s tears; heads filled with the other’s healing words, until they fell asleep with smiles on their faces.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: This is kind of a short chapter, the rest of them are going to be on the short side to be honest. But yeah there are still some surprises left before the end. I'm hoping to have this done by next weekend because I have shows starting then and it'll be a bitch to have to update so that's sort of a plus? Depends on how you look at it, because it's almost over. Anyways hope you enjoy, as always thanks for reading :)

After a long night of waking up to get Harry water and medication, Louis got up, leaving Harry’s side for the first time in over 2 days. He headed to the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower. He stood under the hot water for a long time, letting the warm water clean his slowly healing cuts. He cringed when he took the bandages off, not remembering just how bad the cuts had been. He took his time, cleaning them, then washing the rest of his body, washing his hair. It was such a mundane task, but it felt incredibly refreshing, like he was washing away the events of the past 3 days.

When he got back to the room, he found Harry still fast asleep in the bed. Louis walked into the closet, picking out comfortable clothes, throwing them on, and then moved towards the bed. He stopped next to Harry and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his temple. The corners of Harry’s mouth twitched upwards. Louis couldn’t help but smile, going in to kiss him again, this time on the lips. Harry’s eye’s fluttered open, confused look on his face as his eye’s tried to focus on who was above him. Once he realized it was Harry, his face broke out into a smile.

“Morning love” Louis whispered “good to see you’re awake” he paused “good to see you’re alive” he added softly. Harry’s smiled faltered a bit.

“Only thanks to you and the boys” he said quietly. Louis could still feel the tension in the air. Even though they’d had a conversation about it the night before, there were still many unresolved feelings, and things in general. Now wasn’t the time to discuss them though.

“Are you hungry Harry? You haven’t eaten in what, a month?” thinking about it Louis wasn’t sure when the last time Harry had eaten was, a few days ago? A week? Too long no matter.

“Yeah I am actually. I feel like I haven’t been hungry in forever. I feel so much better” Harry said, voice sounding surprised. He sat up, and removed the covers off himself. He attempted to lift himself off the bed, but found after all he’d been through he was simply too weak. He collapsed back onto the bed, and looked at Louis sheepishly.

“You know it’s no bother asking for help, Haz” Louis said, reaching to carry Harry.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to carry me like I’m a baby” Harry whined, but still didn’t protest as Louis lifted him into his arms. Louis carried him down the hall and set him down on the sofa.

“What would you like for breakfast?” Louis asked, assuming it was breakfast time. Louis didn’t even know what day it was, let alone the time of day. None of the other boys were up, and the sun was so he figured morning was accurate.

“could I just have like 2 pieces of toast. I’m not sure how well my stomach will do with food to be honest.” Harry had a point, he hadn’t eaten in a while, and even before that he wasn’t eating much. It was like he was getting over a bad flu.

“Toast it is then.” Louis prepared the bread, bringing it over to Harry along with his medication and water. “Here you are” he stood in front of Harry awkwardly for a moment before going to fix himself some breakfast. He quickly ate a bowl of cereal, the went back over to sit with Harry.

He flopped onto the sofa, Harry lifted his arm, and Louis tucked himself into it. Louis was reminded of the many times they’d sat like this, watching TV, or a movie. All of those times before Harry was taken over. Now he rested his head on Harry’s shoulder. Even as weak as he was, Harry was still the one cuddling Louis, still the bigger of the two, because it’s what felt right. They sat like that for a while, before Louis grabbed the remote, turning the TV on to whatever movie Niall was watching last. Finding Nemo, again.

“Niall must have watched this 50 times these past few weeks, I swear it’s all he watches.” Louis said, though it was muffled by the fabric of Harry’s shirt. Harry started rubbing warm circles into Louis back, and he found himself drifting in and out of consciousness.

At some point, he woke up again, Nemo still playing in front of them, Harry had seemingly dozed off for a bit too. He was awake now, pulling his arm away from Louis to rub his eyes. At first Louis flinched away, nervous Harry had woken up his drug induced psychotic self again, but was relieved when he saw it was only for that. He replaced his arm once more, pulling Louis even closer. Harry pressed a soft kiss on top of Louis head.

“I love you, Lou” he whispered.

“I love you too Harry” Louis replied. Then it was like a silent alarm went off, alerting all of the other boys to wake up, because almost simultaneously they walked into the kitchen. At first they didn’t notice the two boys curled up together on the couch.

“Why’s Nemo on? I had it at a specific place! Now I’m gonna have to rewind it again and find it.” Niall complained, walking into the living room to find the remote. Still oblivious, he was startled when he realized they were there on the sofa. “Lads! You’re out! Harry how are ya?” Niall said, pulling Harry into a long hug. The other boys rushed into the room, following Niall with hugs.

“Harry are you feeling better?” Liam asked, looking much calmer than he did the last time Louis saw him, but still worried.

“Loads yeah. Louis made sure of that.” Harry said, squeezing Louis beside him. Louis almost felt the need to blush, but once he realized all the things they’d been through the past month, he figured it’d be wasted.

“We thought you were a gonner, then Louis wouldn’t let us take you to the hospital, and just, we were sure you weren’t going to make it.” Zayn said, shaking his head.

“Well I did make it. I’m here, and I feel great.” He stopped “Well as great as someone like me could” he corrected. The boys chuckled.

“Well we’re just happy you’re better now.” Niall said “I’m gonna grab some breakfast, then we can all get back to talking!” of course food came first.

“Oh lads” Louis said, stopping them. “What’s today? How many days have we got left?”

“4 days left Lou.” Liam said quietly, stalking off into the kitchen, with Zayn following closely behind him. They ate their food quickly and quietly, then reentered the living room, all taking seats around Louis and Harry.

“So you said you’re feeling better Harry?” Liam starts slowly. Harry moves himself from the slumped over position, to a more right one, keeping Louis close to him.

“I really do yeah, and I’m glad we’re all here right now because since I came back into coherency, I’ve been meaning to talk to all of you.” Harry said, keeping his head down.

“Well we’re all here right now, and we’re not going anywhere so take your time and we’ll listen” Zayn said, before either of the other boys could.

“So I just wanted to start off by apologizing. For all of this. Really for getting myself into this mess In the first place. I’m sorry I you had to be roped into this, I can’t believe I got that out of control. I’m sorry for these past few weeks, all the stress I’ve put you guys through. I’m sorry for hurting you guys. Mostly I’m just sorry that I hurt you guys, because I know that’s really what I’ve done.” Harry paused to breathe for a moment before picking back up. “I also wanted to say thank you, thank you so much for staying with me through all of this. You’ve all helped me through the toughest thing in my life. I think it’s safe to say I’d be dead right now if it weren’t for you lot. So just know that I’m so sorry I ever got us into this mess, but also I’m so grateful you helped me out of it. You saved my life. You guys didn’t even wreck it, I did, but you were still there to save it in the end. I don’t think I could ask for a better group of friends.” Louis felt tears running down his face as Harry continued talking.

“Of course we’re there for you Harry. You’re one of our brothers, we weren’t going to just leave you when you needed us most” Zayn said, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah but I didn’t deserve it really, you were all so selfless with this whole thing, when I was incredibly selfish to do this in the first place. But I know it’s the past, so really just thank you. I don’t know how to say thank you enough.” Harry said. The boys all came over and pulled him into a hug. Going back to their seats with smiles on their faces.

“We’re glad you’re better. Now we just have to keep you better” Niall said.

“Right” Harry said softly “about that, I’ve been thinking.” He paused. “I’ve been thinking about the tour. I’m really nervous. You know how things can get when we’re on tour and we all just really stressed and we go to certain places where it wouldn’t be hard for me… for me to fall back into the same habits we all just worked so hard to break.” He finished sounding disappointed.

“But Harry you know we’ll be there to support you, we’re not going to let you cave this time. We’re going to help you with your recovery for the rest of forever if that’s what it takes. We knew this wouldn’t be just a 4 week thing. We knew what we were signing up for. We’re going to give you all the support we can” Liam said. Harry just shook his head.

“I just… I think… I think it’d be best…. If I left the band.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUPRISE! So I know it's technically Monday, but yeah I figured I'd update it twice this 'weekend'. Now there are only 2 chapters left, the the Epilogue so that's happened. This has become the longest piece I've ever written, and been able to finish (not that I've finished it yet). So even though it's not the best of fics, I'm really proud of myself for writing it. I hope you like this chapter, I'm not too sure how good it'll be. These past few chapters have been a little sap sap so I tried to change it up a little (?). Anyways as always thanks for reading!

Louis felt like his world was crashing. This is exactly what they had spent the past month trying to protect Harry from. If Harry left the band then there was no point. Other than the fact that harry was alive, everything they’d just done was for nothing. There was no One Direction without Harry. Then of course people would begin to question why Harry left the band, stories would come out. Everyone would know, and everything would be ruined.

Louis didn’t know what else to do, so he got up and ran. He ran to the bathroom and shut himself in, sitting back against the door, body shaking with silent sobs. He knew they’d leave him alone, it wasn’t like Harry could chase after him as weak as he was. Still through the door he heard Harry calling for him to come back, just talk with him. Nope, that was not going to happen. Louis just needed to be alone and breathe. He just needed to breathe, because right now he felt like he was suffocating.

That’s when that old familiar feeling took over. Suffocation. There was only one way he knew how to handle it. He tried to shake it from his mind. He tried to forget that there was a pack of fresh razors hidden under the sink, just feet away, but he couldn’t. Once again, he felt like his skin was on fire, like there was no other way out of this other than to cool the burn. He crawled over to the sink, reaching underneath to where the blades were. He unwrapped a new, clean one, and took the protective cap off.

Louis hiked his pants up, trying to get to his already marked thighs. He put the blade to the skin, thinking back to his promise. He promised the other boys he wouldn’t cut anymore, he wouldn’t do it for Harry. But Harry was fine now, so what was the big deal if he cut himself, just to stop this feeling of drowning. Louis felt like he could breathe. Here he was, blade pressed to his skin, wanting more than anything to slide it, quick, stop the suffocation. But he couldn’t.

He let out a loud sob, and threw the razor across the room, collapsing in on himself, crying loudly. He heard the other boys run to the outside of the bathroom, not stopping and knocking before slamming it open. Upon entering they of course saw Louis in a pile on the ground, sobbing into himself, they saw the razor sitting on the floor feet away from him, and automatically assumed the worst.

“Louis how could you! You promised! You promised us, and you promised for Harry!” Liam shouted. Louis just shook his head in his arms, tears staining his clothes.

“I didn’t. I didn’t. I didn’t” he kept repeating softly, the other boys didn’t hear, so they started moving him, going to check his pants for blood marks, Zayn had already gotten all the needed supplies from the cabinet to dress the wounds they would not find. Now Louis wishes he had done something, because this was stressing him out even more. It took the boys completely removing Louis’ sweats, and examining his legs to realize Louis hadn’t actually cut himself.

“What the fuck Lou!” Zayn shouted. Throwing the bottle alcohol he had in his hand to the ground.

“I told you I didn’t. You chose not to listen.” Louis said even softer than before.

“Whatever Louis, as we ran after you, Harry called after us asking what was going on, so you’d better go deal with that.” Liam said tersely. Louis felt instantly sick. Something he hadn’t ever thought about doing, telling Harry.

“I can’t!” Louis said brokenly, slumping back down onto the floor. He felt hot tears stinging his eyes again. “I can’t tell him about this. It’ll drive him to drugs again!” Liam just shook his head and left the bathroom with the other boys. Louis gave himself a few minutes to collect himself, before picking himself up off the bathroom floor and walking towards the living room. Somewhere along in the 30 second journey he started hyperventilating, and now, as he sat in the chair across form Harry, he felt like he might pass out.

“Lou?” Harry said clearly concerned after looking at him. “Is everything alright?” He moved himself from the laying position he was in, into a sitting one, looking like he might jump off the sofa at any moment.

“Yes.” Louis whispered. He was trying to build up the courage to explain. He just sat there; eye’s squeezed shut breathing deeply. “I have to tell you something” Louis finally said, breaking the unbearable silence. He opened his eyes and quickly met Harry’s gaze. “While you were…While you weren’t you.” Louis shuddered over the simple words. He looked at harry, eyes pleading with him, begging him to not make him tell.

“Come here Louis” Harry said softly. Louis got up, and heavily sat down next to Harry. Harry pulled Louis close to him, feeling the shaking of his body. “Just breathe Lou, we’ve got time, just breathe.” Louis continued to shake his head.

“You’re going to be so angry haz. You’re going to be so angry with me. You’re going to be hurt by me. I don’t want to tell you.” Louis said through tears.

“Louis I promise I won’t be mad, please just tell me. I’m not going to be mad with you I’m not.” Harry said rubbing Louis back slowly, but firmly. Louis took a deep breath and prepared to tell Harry.

“While you were being detoxed, during the really bad stages, it got to be where I couldn’t really… handle it?” Louis began slowly. “I didn’t know what to do, I felt like I was suffocating. I had to listen to you scream my name, you begged me to kill you, you begged me to let you die. I didn’t. I didn’t know how to handle that.” Louis had to stop, he wiped his face on his sleeve, leaving a stain of snot and tears. Harry just gave him a nod and a reassuring squeeze, though the look on his face was of sheer panic.

“I didn’t know what to do, I found myself locked in the bathroom, and I found the razors and I just. I just myself” Louis said barely audible. Harry cringed, face looking pained. Louis choked back a sob. “I didn’t want to tell you, I knew you’d be upset with me. I’d be upset with you if you told me the same thing. I just felt so suffocated. I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t know what else to do!” Louis sobbed. Harry looked at Louis, tears running down my face.

“I’m just angry with myself. I made you do that.” Once again Louis found himself in a collision with Harry.

“I did it because I felt like it was all my fault. Like I was the only reason you were in that much pain in the first place.” Louis said, shaking his head. “It was so bad. One night the boys found me in a bathtub full of blood. They thought I was going to die.” Louis said, embarrassed. “And that’s when I promised not to do it anymore, because it was taking attention away from you, and you were the one that needed attention. You were so sick, you were practically dying, and here they were having to babysit me so I didn’t cut myself. It made me even angrier with myself.” Louis said, sniffling.

“Well how do you think I feel hearing this all back now. You must know it’s not your fault, none of it is, so it’s all my fault.” Harry said. “Just now Louis?” Harry began.

“I didn’t. I didn’t cut myself. They thought I did, but I didn’t. Well, I almost did.” Louis explained.

“Because you felt like you were suffocating? Right then, you did?” Harry said, big eyes looking at him. Louis nodded.

“You said you were going to leave. All the hard work we’ve done was so that you wouldn’t have to leave. Harry we don’t want you to leave. You can’t leave. It’s not One Direction without Harry Styles. Everyone needs your curly locks.” Louis added, pulling at Harry’s hair, giving him a small smile.

“I though it’s be best. I don’t want to be a burden to you guys any more than I already have been. You’ve all done so much for me, and I feel like if I were to take any more, I wouldn’t be fair.” Harry explained.

“But we want to help you, that’s the point. We did this so that you would be better, so that you could go on tour with us, and be a part of the family. We all belong together on that stage, Christ, we all belong together everywhere. I can’t imagine going all the places we’ve been without you Harry.” Louis said, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“I know, I can’t imagine doing any of it without you.” Harry started.

“See. Right there, would you do the same thing for me? For Zayn, or Liam, or Niall? You would insist we go on tour, you’d help us detox, you’d do everything we did for you, right?” Louis said quickly.

“Of course I would, without a doubt.”

“So it’s settled then, Harry, you’re not leaving the band. We need you just as much as you need us. We’re a family.” Louis said.

“Louis…” Harry started, stopping himself quickly.

“What it is Harry? What do you need love?” Louis asked, grabbing his hand.

“I was just wondering if you would, y’know, show me your cuts. I just, I’s like to see” Harry said shyly. Louis nodded and untangled himself from Harry, standing up in front of him.

“Not gonna lie, they’re pretty ugly.” Louis said, as he swiftly pulled his sweats down, revealing his slashed up thighs. He watched the look of horror take over Harry’s face, and he felt his eyes threatened with hot tears again. “please Harry-”

“Louis. You’re so beautiful. I’m so sorry I made you do this to yourself. I never would’ve wanted you to do this. I can’t believe I made you feel like this.” Harry said with his face buried in his hands. Louis sat down next to him, rubbing his arm, wrapping himself around Harry.

“It’s not your fault.” Louis whispered into his ear.

“Yeah but it’s not bloody your fault either, is it?” Harry said, voice cracking with tears.

“What’s happened, happened. All we can do is promise each other to move forward together, and support each other. Not let each other self-harm. I’ll be there for you, as long as you’re there for me.” Louis suggested.

“Of course I’ll be there for you Louis. I’ll always be there for you. I wish I’d been there for you when this happened. But I’ll always be there for you from now on.” Harry said firmly.

“That means you’ll stay in the band, right? You can’t support me from the other side of the globe.” Louis pointed out.

“Of course Lou, I’ll be there for you. I’ll support you, and won’t let you hurt yourself anymore.” Harry said, taking Louis’ free hand and squeezing it.

“And I won’t let you relapse. Not on my life Harry. You’re the most important thing to me, and I’ll never let you go again. I’d rather leave One Direction with you than leave you. I’m won’t. I won’t survive without you.” Louis said, a trail of tears running down his cheeks. Harry reached over, wiping them off his cheek.

“I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you. Just so you know.” Harry said, eyes staring into Louis’ “I just want you to know, anytime I could think, I was thinking of you, of how much you meant to me, and how I needed to fight through it for you. There were times were I wanted nothing more to die, there are times I don’t remember because of how gone I was, but when I could, I did it for you. I did it for us.”

“Harry that’s all I ever ask of you, to fight for us, because I always will.” Louis said. Harry nodded, as if to say “of course”. He then leaned down, Louis began to tense up, unsure of what he was doing. But as Harry’s lips met with one of the cuts on Louis’ thigh, he relaxed, letting the tears freely fall off his face until Harry had kissed every last cut.

“We’ll make it through this. I love you.” Harry said.

“I love you so much Harry.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week was crazy. CRAY-ZY OKAY? But I did it, all for you guys because I love you, but it's a little short okay rambling. There is only 1 chapter left, and I don't think I'm going to post it next Sunday I'm hoping to post it before then. The Epilogue will go up shortly after, then I'll be moving on to the next fic (which I'm super excited about!) Anyways thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!

Throughout the last few days of the Detox everything seemed to be going well. Harry was still weak, and could easily fall back into the same sickness as before, but the boys monitored him more closely now. Harry wasn’t nearly as irritable, only snapping a bit here and there from exhaustion. It seemed like they would make it through this after all. Somehow, the 5 of them had managed to save Harry’s life.

Louis woke up the last day of the detox, knowing that tomorrow they would be free. Tomorrow he’d have to go out with Harry, do the groceries, go to rehearsal. Even stranger, tomorrow the other boys wouldn’t be here. Of course they wouldn’t be far away, they’d only ever be a phone call away, but it was still nerve-wracking for Louis. The last time he’d been alone in this house with Harry was 4 weeks ago. He remembered it all too clearly, the yelling, the throwing, the punching. That was one thing he’d never miss.

Louis left the room to go talk with the other boys, try and figure out how tomorrow would work. He found them all piled up in the kitchen, eating the last of what was left for food.

“Tell you what, it’s a good thing we’re out of here tomorrow, cause we’re pretty much out of food” Niall said, throwing a handful of cereal into his mouth. Louis laughed and opened the fridge, which was of course empty. He rummaged through the cabinets before settling on the cereal in front of Niall.

“So do we have a plan for tomorrow?” Louis said, tossing a handful into his mouth.

“Well Zayn and I were planning on packing tonight so that tomorrow morning we could head out sort of early so we could get home and fix everything up. We’ve got rehearsals at what, 12? So if we left at like 9 or 10 I think that’d be enough time for us to do a little shopping and settle back into our own apartment.” Liam said.

“I was thinking the same” Niall said, with a full mouth. “It’s gonna be weird, huh? Waking up in your own house, not with each other? I mean we’re going on tour in a few weeks, but still.” He didn’t finish, but they all just nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. It had been exactly what Louis was feeling this morning.

“Morning lads” Harry said as he entered the kitchen, bracing himself against the wall. Louis immediately got up and moved to his side, supporting him over to a chair. “Thanks Lou” he said, slumping in the chair. Though it’s a short walk from their room, it still was too much for Harry.

“What would you like to eat Harry? I’ll warn you there’s, uhh, limited choice.” Louis said.

“I’ll just eat what’s already out, it’s fine” Louis nodded and sat down next to Harry.

“We were just discussing the plan for tomorrow.” Niall said “and how it’s gonna be weird for us to be in our own homes, and not with each other. I mean, maybe not for you since you weren’t really cognitive for most of it but-“Niall got cut off when Zayn slapped his chest, giving him an incriminating look. “right sorry, but yeah all I was trying to say it it’s gonna be weird.”

“Definitely” was all Harry said, looking down.

“Me and Zayn are planning on leaving around 9-ish then going by our place before rehearsals.” Liam told Harry.

“You and I are gonna go shopping for a bit, if you’re feeling up to it” Louis said towards Harry. Harry gave Louis a small smile.

“I want to go out, I really go feel better today. I’ve felt the best today that I’ve felt in quite some time. I mean, I couldn’t run a marathon, but I think I could go shopping for an hour or two. I really just feel like I got over a bad flu or something.” Harry explained.

“Right, but the question is, can you participate in rehearsals?” Liam said seriously. For a moment Harry’s face flashed with panic, but he calmed.

“I guess I’ll just have to do the best I can.” He said holding his head up. Everyone smiled at him, all sharing the same amount of pride they felt in the boy. He’d actually made it through this. They’d all made it through this. It didn’t matter how many years passed Louis would always remember it as a miracle.

“I’m actually not that hungry right now though, I think I’m just gonna go take a little cat nap, I’m still pretty tired.” Harry announced, pushing himself away from the table.

“sure thing Harry” Liam said, nodding,. “Do you want one of us to help you?” Harry nodded, and started down the hallway. Louis listened closely, making sure Harry didn’t fall, or cry out for help. He seemed a little off after bringing up rehearsals. Louis head the door slam.

“I think I better go check on him, just make sure he’s alright.” Louis said, getting up quickly, leaving the other boys behind. Louis rushed down the hall, nervous Harry was sick and not telling him. Upon entering the room he saw Harry in the corner, rummaging behind the bed, eyes shut, concentrating on reaching whatever it was he was trying to get.

Louis’ heart dropped instantly, he stood there for a moment, frozen with feeling of sick creeping up in him. He ran over to Harry, shoving him away from the bed, he watched as Harry’s eyes shot open, and a box went flying across the room with a clang.

Louis was sitting on top of Harry, legs straddling his heaving chest. Louis stared Harry in the eyes.

“Harry…how could you?” Louis whispered brokenly. This whole thing had been a waste. “Everything we’ve done, it was all fake then? You’ve been using this whole time. You’ve been lying to us this whole time. Harry how could you” Louis did not raise his voice.

“Lou. Please.” Harry heaved. “it’s not what you think. Please.” He begged. Louis turned away, tears stinging at his eyes.

“Harry. You were doing so good. I thought I had my Harry back, but it was all fake.” Louis slid himself off of Harry’s body. “Give me the drugs. Now Harry.” Harry stared at him, shaking his head.

“I told you-” Harry began before Louis cut him off.

“Give. Me. The. Drugs. The stuff, fine whatever you want to call it. Give me the box.” Harry crawled over to where it was, then back over to Louis, gently placing it on his lap. Louis took it and ripped the lid off, bracing himself to see baggies and needles, other paraphernalia. However that was not what he found.

Instead what he found was a nearly empty box. There were a few small items in it, which Louis began to pull out. The first being a picture of him and Harry in France, on the little bridge they’d found. It had been right in front of some stupid coffee shop Harry insisted on going into, because it said “Louis’ Coffee”. Louis remembered how he’d grumbled about it, but in actuality it had been quite a nice shop. He instantly felt a smile on his face.

The next item was a necklace, one he used to wear, before he even knew Louis. He knew Harry’s mum had given it to him, told him to keep it always. Louis pulled out a few other little trinkets and such, things either he, or Anne had given Harry over the years, until there was only one item left.

Louis gently took it out and held it in his palm. It was the promise ring Louis had given him in France. Louis looked up at Harry, who was watching him through big, teary eyes.

“I told you it wasn’t what you thought it was” he said brokenly. “I promised you after the first time I wouldn’t anymore. I promised I’d try.” Louis couldn’t do anything but nod, looking back down at the ring in his hand, becoming wet with his own tears. “It was sort of like and inspiration box, or whatever you want to call it. Anytime I was feeling strung out, itching for a fix, you know just detoxing in general, I’d just open it up, and be reminded of why I was going through this hell. I remembered that I was doing it for the boys, and for my mum, and most importantly for you, Lou.” Harry said.

Louis managed to scoot himself over to Harry, sitting next to him as he explained. Once he was finished, Louis softly took Harry’s hand, and slid the ring on his middle finger. He then pulled Harry close to him.

“I’m sorry, I just panicked. You were acting funny, and after what happened the first time, I just figured, I just figured it was the same thing.” Louis said, Harry just nodded.

He squeezed Harry tightly, and held him for a while. Liam soon burst into the room, giving Louis a puzzling look upon entering a room with to crying boys on the ground, pictures and trinkets strewn across the room.

“Is…everything alright?” Liam asked awkwardly.

“Yeah, everything is great Liam, we’re just having a moment.” Louis said in a crackly voice. “I feel like that’s all my life has been lately, is moments. Crying moments.” Louis huffed.

“I agree.” Harry said into Louis’ shirt.

“Well just as long as everything is alright, I’ll leave you two alone, and start packing.” Liam said, turning out of the room.

“We should probably go help them.” Harry said quietly.

“Probably.” Louis shifted away from Harry, picking up the floor, putting it back in the box, and setting it on the bed. He walked over to Harry and lifted him off the ground. “You alright?” Louis asked, as Harry remained emotionless.

“Yeah I’m fine. I was just thinking.” Harry replied

“What about, love?”

“Well, I’m ready.” Harry said shortly.

“Ready for what?” Louis asked confusedly.

“I’m ready to go outside, to go to rehearsals, to tour, to go on. Louis I’m ready to live again. The right way this time.” Harry looked down at Louis with a smile, and Louis couldn’t have felt more proud.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: So this is the last chapter, and it's also like the shortest, oops. Anyways thank you so much to all of you who have stayed with me through this whole thing, I know I'm posting this a week late and it's suck-y but I'm so grateful for you guys. When I was younger I wanted to be a write but I never finished anything, the furthest I would get was like 3000 words, so even though it's not the best quality and it's fanfiction I'm really proud of Detox, because it's the first thing I've ever been able to finish. It just means a lot to me that I finished it, and I had people waiting for me to put out more. Anyways the Epilogue will be up in just a few minutes so stay tuned for that. Then of course stick around for my next fic, which I will be posting the first chapter within the next few days. Thanks so much for the support everyone :)

Louis found himself seated on the sofa, across from some of the other boys, just as he had 4 weeks ago. Of course the situation now was much different from then, as were the feelings. Things still weren’t sure, but there was a welcome feeling of optimism that hung in the air. Unlike before, Harry was next to Louis, tucked into his side, reaching up, planting a kiss on Louis cheek. Louis looked down.

“I love you. I’m so proud of you” Louis whispered.

“So this is it then? We’ll all be off. I mean of course we’ll all see each other at rehearsals and such but, yeah, I guess we’ll be going now.” Liam said softly. It was strange feeling, he knew he’d be seeing Liam in a minimal amount of hours, but still something about him leaving felt like the end of an era. It was a good feeling, he didn’t want to stay in this era, but he still couldn’t help that fluttering feeling in his stomach.

“See you all in a bit” Harry said, heaving himself off the couch to hug the boys goodbye. “I know I’ve said it to Louis a million times, but I feel like I haven’t said it to you boys enough, so thank you. Thank you so much for everything. Thank you for literally saving my life.” He hugged each boy, and pressed a soft kiss onto each of their lips. “love you guys, see you later”

Louis and Harry saw them to the door, and waved as they left, as Louis shut the door he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in.

“So Harry we need to do a bit of shopping, groceries and such, are you feeling up to it? I know you’re not in the best condition and there are pap’s everywhere, so I understand if-” Harry cut off his rambling with a kiss.

“I think I can handle a trip to the grocery store. Let me take a shower and we’ll leave in 15.” Harry said walking towards the bathroom. Louis watched him disappear behind the door. He stood in his place for a moment, not sure what to do. He looked around the house, decided it desperately needed to be cleaned. It smelt like death, which wasn’t really a surprise, but none the less was not very pleasing.

After slumping his way to his bedroom, the one Harry had been staying in for the past 4 weeks, throwing on some semi-decent clothes he sat on the bed. The sheets he once used to love made his stomach turn now, covered in black stains. The whole room gave him an uneasy feeling.

“Everything alright, Lou?” Harry said upon entering the room. Louis looked up and nodded.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about how much I hate this room now, I feel like it has a bad aura or something.” Louis huffed.

“bad aura? C’mon Lou, let’s go before I collapse and stay home for the rest of my life.” Louis got up and snaked his arm around Harry’s back. “I grabbed 2 pairs of sunglasses, and I’ve got an extra hoodie you can wear.” Harry said as they entered the living room.

“Good thinking Hazza.” Louis threw it on, and with Harry by his side, opened the front door to leave in the first time in a month. “ready?”

“Yes. I’m ready now.” Harry said, and as quickly as he could, he stepped out of the house, leaning up against the wall as Louis locked the door. “Jesus, they must’ve caught wind of the others leaving and hoped we would be too.” Harry said leaning towards Louis. Louis was afraid to turn around, but did and was faced by at least 45 different paparazzi’s with stupid flashing lights.

“C’mon let’s get in the car now, quick quick” Louis said, grabbing Harry’s side to help him move along. He sat him down in the car and ran to get in on his side. Once in the car, he looked at Harry. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I mean, I could be better, but I can’t just stop living, I’ve got to get back to normal. I’ll be fine, Let’s go.” Louis nodded and pulled out of the driveway, giving silent thanks to whoever invented tinted glass. Once at the grocery store Louis made sure to move through the isles quick enough that Harry wouldn’t get tired before they could finish, but also not so fast he’d fall behind.

It ended up being a short trip, when they got back to their house, the paparazzi’s were still there, snapping hundreds of pictures. Before they got out of the car Louis decided, though he really couldn’t, that Harry had to take a bag. He knew they’d take notice to Harry taking nothing. They got out of the car, brought everything upstairs and then got ready to leave again for rehearsals.

It all went by very quickly, and uneventfully. Their first time out in a month, and it was pretty boring. When Louis and Harry got back late that afternoon, Louis started rummaging through the freshly stocked cupboards.

“Harry what would you like for dinner?” He shouted, not sure which room Harry was in.

“Actually” Harry started, walking into the kitchen, “I was hoping we might go out to dinner, as a bit of celebration you know?” Louis perked up.

“Yeah that sounds lovely actually, I’ll go get ready.” 

Hours later and stomach much fuller Louis found himself sitting contently across from Harry. He reached out to grab Harry’s hand form the other side of the table. Just as he was about to say something, Harry started talking.

“So I actually have more of a reason for bringing you out tonight, other than being hungry.” Harry said quickly.

“Oh?” Louis said softly, tilting his head to the side. Harry nodded, taking a sip of wine before beginning to speak again.

“A few months back, I made a bad decision. I made the worst decision of my life actually; I don’t think it could be explained as anything else. And I know you get upset with yourself because you didn’t stop me, or you think you weren’t there for me enough, but if it wasn’t for you right now, I’d be dead. You stuck by me every minute. Even though it was my bad decision, you still helped me right myself. I just, I can’t believe I have someone like you and” he paused to reach in his pocket.

“Harry?” Louis was incredibly surprised, he didn’t know what Harry was going to pull out.

“I know you already gave me one, but I felt like you should have one.” He said, setting a tiny box down on the table. He fumbled a little to get it open. He finally did, exposing a thick silver band. Louis gasped, and took it out. The inside had words carved in it, won’t stop till we surrender, always one of Harry’s favorites. Louis felt the tears brimming over, spilling onto his cheeks. He laughed and looked up at Harry, sliding it onto his finger. “I got it before any of this, I’ve just been waiting to give it to you. You saved my life. It’s only fair to promise mine in return. I promise more than just staying with you, I promise to stay clean, and support you and to support us and to keep fighting through it all.”

All Louis could do was not and smile, sniffling like an idiot.

“It’s wonderful, yes, thank you, I love you. Of course we’ll support each other. I love you” Louis said, leaning across the table to kiss Harry. “We’ll fight through everything. We’ll make it through everything.”

They got up to leave, tightening their grasps on each other’s hands, knowing as soon as they stepped outside they’d have to separate. Louis stepped in front of Harry, opening the door for him.

 

“Thank you Louis. For everything.” Harry quickly pecked his cheek and duck out of the door, into the sea of flashing lights, Louis close behind. Louis drove them home, and that night they fell asleep intertwined on the sofa, too exhausted and content to move.


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is addicted to cocaine. The boys are to be locked in Louis and Harry's flat for 4 weeks, in attempt to help Harry Detox. If their plan doesn't work, Harry will be thrown out of One Direction, and his relationship with Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Love you guys :)

“In celebrity news it’s now confirmed why the One Direction boys were M-I-A for such a long time, it seems that youngest member, Harry Styles, had a lethal drug addiction. Though we are short on details, we are told that the boy is healthier now, but we’re still waiting for more information about the event. Will this leak hurt their careers, or will it only make their fans more supportive? Considering their launching a world tour in just a matter of weeks, it won’t take too long to find out. In other news American pop icon Kesha was hospitalized for glitter-” The tv shut off in front of Harry.

“It doesn’t matter.” Louis said, dropping onto the sofa and curling up into Harry. “I already spoke to management, they’re not going to kick you out. They said we aren’t allowed to talk about it. We’re just supposed to say it’s all a lie.” Harry didn’t respond.

“Who told?” he said after a few moments of silence.

“Well it wasn’t me… and it wasn’t Liam, or Niall, or Zayn, and I don’t think it was you so…. I don’t know? I spoke to the other boys, they said they have no idea who it could’ve been? Maybe one of the neighbors? Maybe a rogue from Modest? They probably leaked it themselves hoping to kick you out of the band, but there’s already been so much buzz from the fans how they’d leave if you left. Plus we wouldn’t go on without you.” Louis kept going, trying to comfort Harry, who he could tell was trying very hard not to cry. “It’s alright Harry. We’ll fight through this, just like we do with everything. It’s just another bump in the road.”

“That doesn’t make it any less upsetting.” His whine came out muffled as he buried his head in Louis’ hair.

“I know, love, but like I said, we just have to keep our heads up and push through it all.” Louis said calmly. Harry reached for his hand and started playing with the ring on Louis finger.

“Is there ever going to be a time when we don’t have to fight anymore, we can just be who we are?” He asked softly, sounding so childlike.

“I hope, I hope so Hazza. I think there will be, there has to be, doesn’t there?” If he was being honest with himself, Louis didn’t really have an answer for the younger boy.

“To be honest it doesn’t matter, I’ll stay with you anyways.” He looked down at Louis.

“Well that’s very reassuring” Louis said, pulling his mouth up to Harry’s. He kissed him deeply, hoping whatever other questions Harry had would be forgotten. There was plenty of time to worry about things later. None of them needed any more stress right now. Louis didn’t care what happened with the media, or with Modest or even with One Direction. As long as he had Harry, and Harry had him, along with the support of the other boys, he knew they’d be fine.


End file.
